The Best and Worst That Could Happen
by Miss Caitie Jo
Summary: If he had to admit it, Rafael Barba had never gotten over her. She was the best thing that ever happened to him and their breakup was the worst. For Veronica London he had been the best and the worst. She had moved on, never expecting to see him again. She was in NYC to visit her best friend Amanda and never dreamed she would see him. Barba/OC
1. Chapter 1 All We've Lost

**_Ever had a story that just wouldn't leave you alone? Demanding to be written? I wanted to write an SVU story and this popped into my head. This is my first SVU story. I don't own these characters although I wish I did._**

* * *

Rafael Barba jerked awake. He rubbed his face, realizing it was just a dream. He had dreamed about Her. Again. He smiled. She had made him a better person. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. She had those brown eyes that would stare him down when he was being snarky and she would be just as snarky back to him. "God I loved her." He lamented. He had been a fool to think he didn't need her.

* * *

Veronica London pulled her dark hair into a loose ponytail as she skipped up the stairs exiting the subway. She hated being called Veronica and had always preferred London. Sometimes He would call her Vern to annoy her. She had to admit she didn't always mind it coming from him. She wondered what he was up to these days. Hopefully his life was better then hers had been for the past several years. It was March in New York City. The sun was shining, but there was still a chill in the air. Different from Atlanta, that was for sure. It had been too long since she had seen her best friend, Mandy. She sent a text. 'Be there soon!' She put her phone back in her pocket. Her thoughts drifted back to Him. They had met at Harvard. He was on a scholarship, she was too but didn't need it. He jokingly called her a trust fund baby. In the end he wanted to finish his degree and pursue his career. Her mother always told her that everything happens for a reason. She believed it because she met Eddie. They were married for almost five years. Until he was shot and killed in the line of duty. She wondered for what reason that happened.

* * *

Detective Amanda Rollins smiled when she saw the text from her best friend. She couldn't wait to see her.

"Something humorous Detective?" Barba snipped. They had asked for his help with this case and she seemed distracted and uninterested.

"No Counselor. Continue." She rolled her eyes after he looked away.

Olivia saw the look and shook her head. 'Don't antagonize him.' She mouthed. He was already cranky over this case. She didn't want him worse.

Amanda shrugged.

* * *

"Hold the elevator?!" Detective Nick Amaro called.

London pressed the button to keep the doors open.

"Thanks." He smiled at her.

"You're welcome."

He noticed her visitor badge. "Who are you here to see?"

She gave him a funny look.

"You're wearing a visitor badge. I work here. That's why I asked." He showed her his badge.

"Oh. Sorry. I'm here to see Detective Rollins."

"Me too." He smirked before adding, "She's my partner. Detective Nick Amaro." He held out his hand.

"London." She shook his hand.

"She told me you were coming to visit. Nice to meet you." The elevator doors opened.

"You too." She followed him to the squad room.

* * *

"Hey! You're here!" Amanda threw her arms around her best friend and squeezed her tight. She felt tears well up in her eyes. She had missed her.

"Good to see you too." London laughed to keep from crying and returned the hug.

"I see you met Nick. This is Detectives Odafin Tutuola and Sonny Carisi." She introduced them. "This is my friend London."

"Call me Fin." He held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you both." She shook his hand and then Carisi's.

"Sarge is still discussing a case with a grouchy A.D.A." She gestured to Olivia's office. "So did you take a cab here?"

"Subway." London grinned.

"Surprising." Amanda laughed. "I wouldn't think you would touch it."

She shrugged. "I've experienced worse."

"That's scary." Fin commented.

Olivia and Barba walked out of her office at that moment. His coat was thrown over his arm. He looked tired. London recognized him immediately. She would have recognized those suspenders anywhere. After all she had bought them for him.

"Sarge, this is my friend London." Amanda began.

"Olivia Benson. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." The two women shook hands.

Barba didn't recognize her at first. Her hair was dark and the last time he had seen her it was red. He wondered if he should say anything or not. He didn't want to sound like a complete ass. "London." He acknowledged her.

"Rafael." She stared him down. He was the last person she wanted to see, but had to admit she was curious what he would say after so many years.

Her gaze made him uncomfortable. "So how are things with you?" It came out more annoying than he meant.

"They've been better." She snipped. That's all he had to say?

"Oh? Trouble in paradise with Eddie? How's the old boy doing?" He snapped back. He always thought Eddie stole her away.

Amanda covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle her gasp. She realized that it was Barba her friend dated in college.

"He's dead. Almost four years now." She pressed her lips together.

He groaned inwardly. His attempt to not be an ass had completely failed. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

"No. You don't get to say anything else. You are an ass and a heartless bastard!" She didn't want to start crying.

"Actually, no, my parents were married when they had me." He smirked.

"You are unbelievable." She scoffed. Her phone buzzed. "Mandy, I'll see you later. I've got to take this." She answered her phone and walked out of the squad room.

* * *

"What the Hell was that Rafael?" Olivia fussed at him. The two of them were back in her office with Amanda.

He didn't answer. He was mad at himself. The woman of his dreams had stood in front of him and he was an ass to her.

"I get it now." Amanda started. "I finally realized that you are the guy she dated at Harvard."

"It was me." He admitted quietly. "Did she never talk about me?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"She did, but she called you 'Rafi' and I never put two and two together.

"Mm. What happened to him? Her husband." He rubbed his temples.

"He was shot during what should have been a routine bust. He was a junior detective with the Atlanta Police Department. He was from New York City. It happened right around the time I transferred up here."

"Damn it." He muttered. "Did they get the guy?"

"He was arrested, but the DA botched the whole thing. He cut him a deal in exchange for flipping on the cartel that supplied him. It was a major bust and the DA scored huge political points. He downgraded the charge from second degree murder to voluntary manslaughter." She shook her head.

"Wow." Olivia was shocked. "He killed a cop and walked."

"Yeah. Atlanta PD lost any respect they had for him. The trial was a farce. I thought it was going to break her."

"They put her on the stand?" He hoped they didn't.

"No." She shook her head. He was an effective DA, but even more of an ass than Barba.

* * *

"Do y'all have any paper?" London reappeared in the squad room with her phone still pressed to her ear.

"Yeah sure." Carisi handed her a notepad. "Have a seat."

"Thanks." She sat at his desk. She was glad she didn't see Barba again. She turned her attention back to the voice on the other end of the phone. It was Jack Lewis, her husband's former partner. He had picked up on her frantic tone when she answered. She unsuccessfully tried to convince him she was fine and just out of breath. He told her she sucked at lying.

"You still there?" He asked.

"Yeah. Are you sure about this Jack?" He had told her there was evidence that the DA was taking kickbacks from the cartel he had busted.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"Because if you aren't…" She started.

"I know London. I know."

"Have you told anyone else? Because I can keep a lid on it, but if you've told anyone…" She was taking notes in shorthand.

"Chief told me. I didn't tell him that I already knew."

She closed her eyes. If the chief knew… "Okay. Here is what you need to do. I am going to text you a number. If he does not answer, do not leave a message. He will call you back. When you talk to him tell him Vern needs his assistance and will owe him."

"Got it. So can I call you Vern?" He chuckled.

"No. You can not." She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Alright. I'll keep you in the loop."

"Thanks. Watch your six." She cautioned.

"Always. Bye." He hung up.

She sighed and flipped through her contact list before finding the number she was looking for. She texted it to Jack and set her phone down.

"You a reporter?" Carisi asked, breaking through her thoughts.

"When it suits." She smirked. "I write for the associated press upon a occasion; mostly ghost writing. My husband always wanted to keep me safe."

"That's what the good ones do." Fin added.

"This was him." She pulled up a picture on her phone of the two of them together, him in his uniform.

"He was a police officer?" Nick asked.

"Mmhmm." She nodded. "It was supposed to be a routine bust, but it didn't quite work out that way." She said sadly.

Nick regretted saying anything.

"He was from here." She added.

"Happened about four years ago?" Carisi asked.

"That's right." She nodded. "Eddie Winters."

"The academy had a ceremony for him. It wasn't long after I graduated." He explained. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." She smiled.

* * *

"Did London ever come back?" Amanda asked when she walked out of Olivia's office.

"She did. Said something about going to the cemetery." Nick said. "She came back in on the phone and was taking notes. Something was up."

"I'll check on her." She said.

"Later Rollins." Olivia walked out of her office. "I need you and Amaro to interview another set of parents."

"Another kid?" Nick asked sadly. They had just interviewed the parents of a kid who died of cancer.

"Yeah. He was four." Olivia said sadly. "Treated at the same clinic." There had been reports that the clinic was fraudulently billing insurance companies and possibly mistreating its patients.

"The business manager wants to talk." Barba announced.

"I bet she does." Olivia scoffed.

"Shall we?" He walked out of the squad room not waiting for her to respond. This case made him sick. How could anyone in the medical field take advantage of cancer patients? Especially children.

* * *

"Hi Aunt Amanda." A young voice said.

Amanda looked up and saw London's thirteen year old niece standing in the squad room. "Hey Kiddo." She stood up to hug her. "What are you doing here?"

"Aunt London was supposed to be there when I got out of school." She said.

"Why didn't you call her?" Amanda asked.

"I kind of don't have my phone right now. I was hoping you could call her." The young girl sounded hopeful.

"Uh yeah. Let me get my phone. I think I left it in the break room. Hey Carisi, can you keep on eye on Celia for like two seconds while I grab my phone?" She started walking to the break room.

"Sure thing." He nodded. "You're London's niece huh?" He asked the girl.

"Yeah. You know her?" She dropped her backpack by Amanda's desk.

"I met her this morning."

"Cool. She was supposed to pick me from school. I'm grounded so I don't have my phone. I'm sure it will only be worse if my parents find out I was here." She sat in Amanda's chair.

"Why's that?" He leaned against the desk.

"Because of my uncle. He was supposed to be safe, but he wasn't." Her voice caught in her throat.

He nodded.

"My mom isn't a fan of police stations now. She would have a cow if she knew I came here by myself."

"She just wants you to be safe. You are safe here. I promise." He said.

"Thanks. Carisi right? I'm Celia." She held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you." He shook her hand.

* * *

London sat at the cemetery. Her heart ached, but she didn't cry as much as she thought she would; as much as she wanted to. She went by the police academy and saw his star on the wall. As she was walking out her phone started buzzing. She pulled it out of her pocket and answered before looking at the caller id. "Hello?"

"Hey, are you okay?" Amanda asked.

"Oh hey. I'm okay." She answered.

"Where are you?"

"I'm just leaving the police academy." She stood on the sidewalk.

"Okay, did you forget about Celia?" She asked.

"What about her? Wait. I was supposed to pick her up today. I thought it was tomorrow. Did she call you?" She wondered if she had missed the call.

"No, she's here at the precinct."

"I'm on my way." She hung up the phone.

* * *

"London is on her way." Amanda walked up to Celia and Carisi.

"Thanks. Is she ticked at me?"

"I don't think so. She thought she was supposed to pick you up tomorrow."

Celia laughed. "Maybe it was tomorrow."

"I swear you two are just alike!" Amanda laughed at her.

* * *

London walked in the squad room and saw Celia's backpack. "Hey. Where is she?"

"Carisi took her to the break room. Her blood sugar was getting low."

"Aunt London!" Celia squealed and ran to her.

"Hey Sweetheart." London hugged her tight.

"I've missed you!" The young girl held on to her.

"I've missed you too!" London kissed her head.

"So maybe I got my days mixed up and you were supposed to get me tomorrow." She grinned.

"Oh well. Let's not tell your mom." She winked at her.

"Thanks. You ready?" She picked up her backpack.

"Sure thing." London said.

"Bye Aunt Amanda." She hugged her. "Thanks Carisi." She hugged him.

It took him by surprise. "You're welcome kid." He smiled at her.

* * *

"I've had this headache all day." Nick groaned. He was at the bar with Amanda, Carisi, Fin and London.

"There's a cure for that." London said as she sipped her drink.

"Yeah? What's that?" He asked.

She leaned her head back holding the bottom of his beer bottle against her forehead.

"That's ridiculous." He shook his head.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it." She smirked, handing the bottle back to him.

"Alright." He leaned the bottle against his forehead.

"Well?" She smirked.

"Not bad actually."

"Just so you know you look ridiculous!" Carisi laughed.

"Laugh it up. My head does feel better." He set the bottle down.

"Told ya." London finished her drink.

Amanda finished her drink. "You ready?" She asked London.

"Whenever you are." She picked up her phone.

"I thought Liv was going to join us." Fin said.

"She was finishing up some notes with Barba." Carisi said.

London's skin prickled when she heard his name.

* * *

"I'm to the point I can't see straight." Olivia yawned. "I told the guys I'd meet them for drinks. Want to come with?" She offered.

"Depends." Barba rubbed his face. "Is London going to be there?"

"What if she is?" She didn't see the problem.

"She doesn't want to see me. I was an ass to her earlier."

"Rafael. Do you still love her?" She asked bluntly.

"Of course I do Liv." He stated it as if he was offended she even asked, as if it wasn't obvious.

"Then do something about it." She smiled at him. "Come on. We'll see if she's still there." She picked up her coat.

* * *

"There she is." Fin said when Olivia and Barba walked in.

London looked toward the door. She swore her heart stopped beating when she saw Him. He was looking right at her. He gave her the same look he had given her when they were dating. The look that said she was the only woman in the room. She tore her eyes away from him and finished her cinnamon schnapps.

"Hey guys." Olivia walked up to them.

"Hey Boss. We thought you forgot about us." Carisi joked.

"Not quite Carisi." She smiled and ordered her drink. She leaned over to Amanda. "Can you get her to talk to him?" She whispered.

Amanda shrugged.

"Crap." London muttered when she dropped her phone.

Rafael saw his opportunity to speak to her. He bent down to pick up her phone for her.

She took it from him but didn't say anything.

It was all he could do to not say something snarky to her.

"Do you want me to talk to you or something?" She asked.

"I really wish you would." He answered.

She noted his tone of voice. "Thank you for picking up my phone. You know how dizzy I get when I've been drinking." She smirked.

"You're welcome. And yes, I remember." He gave her a genuine smile.

"Goodnight." She stood up.

"I will see all of you in the morning." Amanda picked up her phone.

"Need me to call you a cab?" Nick offered.

"Already did. Thanks though." She smiled at him.

* * *

"So what was that with you and Barba?" Amanda asked. They were sitting on her couch in their PJs like they were at a slumber party.

"I don't even know. I haven't heard from him since…" She stopped to think. "Must have been when Eddie and I were dating. We ran into him somewhere. He was a horrible ass to me earlier. I guess I expected too much of him. He's worse than he used to be." She rambled. "Anyway. Is there something between him and Olivia?" She hoped not, but she didn't know why she cared all of the sudden.

"Not that I know of. We work closely with him and they are friends." She said.

"What about you and Nick?" She teased.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "There's nothing going on. Just partners."

"Liar! You're in to him. I can see it. And him offering to call you a cab? He's into you too."

Amanda blushed.

"I've known you long enough Amanda Rollins." She laughed.

"And I've known you long enough Vern." She laughed at her. "So Liv whispered something to me when she ordered her drink.

"What's that?"

"She asked me to get you to talk to him." She smiled.

London's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh Honey!" Amanda pulled her into a hug.

London hugged her friend and burst into tears.

"If I had realized it was him I would have warned you." She said.

"I know." She sniffled. "I just… I don't know. I don't know why I'm crying." She was irritated at herself.

"Because you still love him?"

"I always thought Eddie and I would be together forever." She avoided the question.

"The Eddie Winters I knew adored you. He did everything in his power to make you happy. And he would want you to be happy again. I know that for a fact." She said firmly.

London nodded. "I know." Amanda was right. She knew Eddie would want her to be happy again.

* * *

Rafael walked in his apartment and tossed his coat on a chair. He knew he needed her back in his life. He had been close enough to smell the cinnamon on her breath. Cinnamon schnapps had always been her drink of choice. It brought back memories of happier times for him. He loosened his tie and poured himself a drink.

* * *

 ** _Thanks for reading. Feel free to let me know if you liked it or not. :)_**


	2. Chapter 2 Malignant Truth

**_Thanks for your reviews/favorites/follows! :) This chapter has a little backstory on how they met..._**

* * *

 **Harvard University**

London was in the library scanning the shelves for a particular book. Rafael wasn't paying attention as he rounded the corner. The two collided and his stack of books went flying.

"Ouch!" She groaned.

"Why didn't you watch where you were going?" He glared at her as he bent down to pick up his books.

"Why didn't you?" She challenged.

He was prepared to give a smart comeback, but his mind went blank when he looked up at her. She was beautiful. "I'm sorry." He muttered.

"I'll let you slide, but just this once." She smirked.

"Gee thanks." He set his books on the table. "Can I make it up to you? Buy you a cup of coffee or tea if that's your thing?"

"Hmm. I don't know. Mama always told me not to talk to strangers." A smile played at the corners of her mouth.

He rolled his eyes. She intrigued him and he liked her accent. "I'm Rafael Barba." He held out his hand.

"Call me London." She shook his hand.

"Is that your name?" He didn't follow.

She rolled her eyes. "London is my last name. I've never liked my first name."

"What is it? It can't be that bad."

"Veronica." She huffed.

"That's not bad. It could be worse." He shrugged. "It's a nice name."

She smiled. He was complimenting her. It was sweet and he wasn't hard to look at. "Thank you."

"I think I'll call you Vern." He joked.

"Don't you dare." She pointed her finger at him. "Do you want me to get coffee with you or not?"

"Oh so it's a yes." He was pleased.

"I'm not one to pass up a free cup of coffee."

"Let's go then."

"What about your books?" She looked at the stack of books.

"Oh yeah. I was going to study." He didn't want to study. He wanted to get to know this girl.

"Well you study, and I will go to my next class." She began and noticed his face fall. "Raincheck?"

"Yeah. Sure." He tried to sound like he didn't care.

"I'll see you around." She smiled before turning away.

* * *

London walked back to the library after her class. She smiled when she saw Rafael still at the same table where she left him. "How's the studying?" She asked.

His head jerked up at the sound of her voice. He hadn't expected her to come back. "It's going." He rubbed his eyes.

"I could go for a coffee right about now. How about you?" She offered.

"Sounds good." He stood up.

"You look like you need a break."

He nodded and stifled a yawn.

"Yeah you definitely need a break come on." She grabbed his hand.

He was surprised when she grabbed his hand and he liked the weight of her hand in his.

* * *

"What's your major?" London asked Rafael as they drank their coffee.

"Pre law."

"Pre law at Harvard. Original." She rolled her eyes.

"What about you smarty pants?" He smirked.

"Journalism. My parents think it is me being rebellious. They are both Harvard alumni, both lawyers. It seemed only fitting that I would want to do the same." She sipped her steaming beverage.

"But you didn't want it?" He was genuinely interested in her story.

"No, and I can't make them understand that. They chose Harvard for me. I didn't want to come here. Atlanta is way too far away, but they just knew I would change my mind. Two years in and I haven't changed my mind yet." She snorted. "So what's your story?" She felt like she had been griping about her life.

"I want to make a difference. I grew up in the Bronx. My mother rode me about my grades constantly. She still does." He rolled his eyes. "As if I'm smart enough to get in to Harvard, but not smart enough to keep my scholarships."

"What about your father?" She noticed him tense up and his fist clinch.

"Complicated. He's, he's not around. Hasn't been for a while."

"Sorry." She said quietly. She hadn't meant to upset him.

"Not your fault." He smiled at her. "Promise." He squeezed her hand.

She knew she had to be careful. He was charming and she could feel herself already falling for him.

* * *

 **Present Day**

"Morning." Amanda walked in the squad room with her coffee.

"Morning." Nick didn't look up from the file he was reading. "So there were thirty five people treated at the clinic in the past month. Seven of them where hospitalized for secondary infections within days of each other."

"Neither of the kids had been hospitalized before their deaths." Fin said.

"I got the report from the health department." Carisi walked in. "It confirms what you said. And then some."

"Like what?" Amanda asked.

"For starters, they would draw up the meds and if a patient didn't come in they would print a new label and put it on the same syringe for the next patient. They would bill twice for the same meds."

"So that's the fraud. How is it connected to medical malpractice?" Fin asked.

"Here's where it gets worse. Some of the patients received watered down meds. Some actually did have cancer and some of them never did."

"So some of them received treatment and didn't even have cancer?" Olivia couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Yeah. And some did and they didn't receive appropriate treatment." Carisi felt sick.

"We've got enough to bring the doctor in and the rest of his staff." She said. "I'm going to give the A.D.A. the news." She grabbed her coat from her office.

"Barba's gonna flip over this one." Amanda shook her head.

* * *

Olivia knocked on Barba's door before letting herself in.

"Liv. I was about to call you. What's going on?" He stood up.

"You may want to sit down for this." She handed him the health department report.

He sat back in his chair. "My God." He read the report. "This is unbelievable."

"We're going to arrest the doctor and the rest of his staff."

"Good." He handed her the report. "It's sickening." He shook his head.

* * *

"Thanks for checking me out of school early." Celia smiled at London.

"You're welcome." London smiled. They were sitting on a bench in Central Park eating hot dogs.

"Uncle Eddie and I used to come here some. I barely remember it. I was so little."

"Just know that he loved you so much." London whispered, hugging her.

"I know. I miss him so much." Tears fell down her cheeks. She brushed them away.

"I miss him too. And it's okay. I think about him all the time and sometimes the memories slip out of my eyes and down my cheeks." She smiled.

"I like that. I'll remember that one." The young girl smiled. "How long are you staying for?" She hadn't said.

"A few more days at least. Then I have to go to Boston I think." She hadn't checked her schedule and it could have changed.

"Will you come back again and visit? I miss seeing you."

"I will. I'm not sure when, but I'll come back and visit you."

"Have you thought any more about selling your house?" She had mixed feelings about it.

"I don't know yet. I thought about it, but I haven't been able to yet. Maybe I should?"

"You could sell it and move up here." She grinned.

"I could do that." She laughed.

"Aunt Amanda would like that too." She added.

"Oh have you two talked about this?"

"Maybe." She giggled.

* * *

"Hey Counselor." Amanda walked in Barba's office.

"What can I do for you Detective Rollins?" He looked up from the file he had been reviewing.

"I just wanted to invite you to dinner." She shrugged.

"Excuse me?" He wasn't sure he heard her correctly.

"I wanted to invite you to dinner." She repeated and handed him a piece of paper with the name of the restaurant on it.

"I'm not sure I understand." He took the paper.

"The whole team is going to dinner and London will be there. So I am inviting you. Because she wouldn't do it herself."

He felt his heart jump when he heard her name. "Does she even want me there?" He asked hesitantly.

"I think so. Even if she doesn't know it yet." She smirked.

"I'll think about it." He said.

She nodded and walked out, closing the door behind her.

* * *

"Hey." Amanda walked up to the table where London and Celia were sitting.

"Hi Aunt Amanda." Celia smiled.

"So the rest of the guys are on their way. And a heads up, I invited Barba."

London rolled her eyes.

"Who's that?" Celia asked.

"The Assistant District Attorney for the borough of Manhattan." London answered dryly.

Amanda snickered.

"What's so funny?" Celia didn't get it.

London groaned. "Okay. So I dated him when I was at Harvard, before I met your uncle." She explained.

"And now Aunt Amanda is trying to play matchmaker? I like it." She grinned.

London rolled her eyes and glared at her friend.

* * *

"I don't think this is a good idea." Barba grumbled. Against his better judgment he had accepted Rollins' dinner offer.

"Do you ever think anything is a good idea? Suck it up." Fin fussed.

Olivia smirked. This would definitely be interesting.

* * *

"Hey Liv." Amanda called.

"Hey." She sat down with them.

"This is London's niece Celia."

"Olivia Benson. It's nice to meet you Celia."

"You too." She smiled.

Rafael saw London and smiled.

She saw him smiling at her. She smiled back.

"Hey guys." Amanda said as they sat down.

"Hi Detective Carisi." Celia waved at him.

"Hey Kid." He smiled.

"Aunt London did you tell mom we were eating dinner? 'Cause she's calling me." Celia said.

"I thought I did. Better make sure she knows."

Celia answered the phone and stepped away from the table.

* * *

"So did you two have a good day?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah it was nice. She asked the inevitable."

"Which one?" Amanda asked.

"All of them. When am I leaving, am I moving, and am I selling the house."

"What did you tell her?"

"Same thing I told you. 'I don't know'." She smirked.

"So I'll know when you leave? Because you'll be gone?" Amanda had to admit she was bummed.

"Something like that. My schedule's up in the air again. I won't know for a few days and then I'll have to leave."

"Okay. Fair enough."

Rafael quietly observed the conversation. He didn't want her to leave. But he didn't know how to tell her that.

* * *

Celia walked back to the table and sat down with a huff.

"What's wrong?" London asked.

"Mom was mad. She didn't get your message. She was freaking out."

"She freaks out because she cares." London smiled.

"You're lucky to have parents that care about you." Amanda said. "And two fabulous aunts." She added with a smirk.

"I know. Thanks." She smiled. "Mom's going to pick me up in an hour. I think she's afraid you'll take me to a bar."

Amanda laughed.

London shook her head. "I'm so glad your mother has such faith in me."

Rafael snickered. "That was funny."

"I know right?" She winked at him.

* * *

"Can I buy you a drink?" Rafael asked London. He was dying to talk to her.

"I have one." She smirked with a drink in her hand.

"You have one." He bit his tongue and chuckled. "Your next one then?"

"My next one." She whispered in his ear. She had to be careful she didn't succumb to his charm.

"Deal." He sipped his drink.

* * *

"What's the story with those two?" Carisi turned and asked Amanda. They had been talking with Olivia. Nick and Fin had already left.

"I'm curious about that too." Olivia said. "I've never seen him like this."

Amanda smiled. "They dated at Harvard. Honestly I thought they were going to get married. I remember when they split. She called me crying her eyes out. He was stressed out with law school and wanted a break. She took it as a permanent break. I don't know if he did or not."

"So they never got back together." Carisi stated.

"No. She met Eddie during that time. I had wondered if it was too soon, but she didn't want to hear my opinion about it. They dated for a couple years and got married."

"How long were they married?" Olivia asked looking over at the two.

"Almost five years. He's been gone four now." She shook her head sadly. "I will never forget that call. Mama called me crying. I knew something was horribly wrong. London was an absolute wreck. I don't know how she could have been anything but. I know I couldn't have been."

* * *

"Bartender?" Rafael ordered another drink for London and himself.

"Thank you." London smiled. "So now what?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You bought me a drink. That comes with strings."

"I…" He stopped and shook his head. "A. I offered to buy you a drink. B. You accepted. C. No strings."

"If you say so." She smirked.

"I do say so." He chuckled. "Truth be told…" He started.

She shook her head. "No truth tonight."

"Hear me out." He whispered. "Truth be told, I was stupid. I just want to talk to you and get to know you again."

"I told you no truth tonight." She had tears in her eyes.

"I know, but you needed to hear that." He said firmly.

"I know." She whispered. She knew he was right. She just didn't want to admit it. "Since we are talking truth…" She finished her drink. "I'm not surprised that you are still such a primadonna."

"Still?" He rolled his eyes.

The bartender set another drink in front of her without her asking. "Yeah. Still." She smirked.

"What does it matter if I'm as good as I think I am." He challenged.

"I can still confront you about it."

"You are drunk. You only called me that when you were drunk." He teased her.

"I'm not drunk." She shook her head.

There was no arguing with her when she had been drinking. He needed to try a different tactic. "I am sorry."

"For what?" She didn't know why he was apologizing.

"For telling you I needed a break. I never meant it to be permanent. I know I hurt you and I am forever sorry." He let down his guard. Something he never did.

His words struck a chord with her. The pleading in his voice gripped her. She didn't know what to say.

"You don't have to answer." He seemed to read her thoughts. "I just wanted you to know." That wasn't all he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her that he still loved her. That he never stopped loving her. He knew he had told her enough truth for one night.

* * *

 ** _Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought and if you have any comments/suggestions/critiques! :)_**


	3. Chapter 3 Flight Risk

_**Thanks for reading! I own London, but no one**_ ** _else..._**

* * *

"People on bail?" the Judge asked. The doctor from the clinic was being arraigned.

"Remand your Honor." Barba said. "The defendant has a passport and is a flight risk."

"Objection!" The defense attorney protested. "My client has ties to the community. He is not a flight risk."

"Your Honor…" Barba began.

"Save it for the trial Mr. Barba. The defendant must submit his passport to the court. Bail is set for $100,000." He slammed his gavel.

* * *

"Can't say I didn't try." Barba mumbled to Olivia as they walked out of the courthouse.

"I wouldn't dream of it." She smirked.

"The bastard should be under the jail for what he did." He grumbled.

"Let's just keep that between us." She patted him on the back.

He had to admit he was a little off his game. He had been distracted thinking about London.

* * *

 **Harvard University**

"Hey You." London whispered in Rafael's ear. She had walked up behind him in the library.

He jumped slightly. He didn't like being startled. "Hey." He ran his hands through his hair. "Are you stalking me now?" He smirked.

"It's not my fault you're a creature of habit." She shrugged.

He shrugged.

"If you don't like it you shouldn't make it so easy for me."

"I didn't say I minded it." He grinned.

She felt her cheeks get hot. She rolled her eyes and turned around.

"Hey London." He stuffed his books and notes in his backpack and rushed after her. "Wait up!"

She heard him calling, but she ignored him.

He caught up to her outside. "London!"

"What?" She turned around, glaring at him.

"I'm sorry. I like that you can track me down."

"You don't have to be an ass about it." She huffed.

"I know. That's why I apologized. I'll buy you a coffee." He offered.

"I should never have said I couldn't pass on coffee." She rolled her eyes.

"But you did." He reached for her hand.

* * *

"Thanks for the coffee." London smiled.

"You're welcome." He held her hand as they walked.

"I'll buy yours next time." She said.

"You will do no such thing." He stopped walking and pulled her close.

Her breath caught in her throat. She wondered if he was going to kiss her.

"I don't mind buying your coffee." He let go of her hand to stroke her cheek. "Okay?"

"Okay." She whispered.

He debated kissing her or not. For all he knew she would pop him for it. He was willing to take that chance. He pulled her face closer and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

She felt her heart skip a beat.

"I wasn't sure how you'd react, but I figured I would take my chances." He smirked, kissing her again.

"I'm glad you did." She smiled.

* * *

 **Present Day**

"When will you be back?" Amanda asked. She was sitting at her desk when London called. Her coworkers were trying not to eavesdrop.

"I don't know." London sighed. She knew that wasn't the answer her friend wanted.

"Where are you going? Or can you even tell me?" She was trying not to sound as irritated as she actually was.

"I don't know that either." That would set her off.

"What?! How on earth are you flying somewhere and you don't know where?" She yelled.

"Look. I have to be at Laguardia in an hour. That's all I know right now. Okay?"

"Alright. I'm sorry." She threw her hand up.

Olivia and Barba walked in the squad room. "What's going on?" Olivia asked.

"London called her." Fin said. "All I can figure is she's taking off."

"I thought you were going to be here longer." Amanda sighed. "I should have taken off work to spend more time with you. I never see you."

"I know." London sounded sad. "I'm hoping I can change that. I was supposed to have some more time off. This is something Liam has been working on. I've got to pick up his notes and conduct a few interviews." She was irritated about it, but Liam swore he would owe her.

"Where is Liam at?" Amanda asked.

The name got Rafael's attention. He wondered if it was a boyfriend.

"He's been in Bucharest for six months."

"Romania? Six months? What is he doing?"

"I don't know what he's got going on. He insisted he needed me to take care of whatever this is. And that he would owe me big." She walked out and got in the waiting cab.

"I'll say he does." She muttered.

"Laguardia departures." She told the driver. "Mandy. I'm really sorry."

"I know. I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated."

"I am too." She agreed. "Can you send me Rafael's number? Or better yet, will you give him mine and ask him to call me? I'll put the ball in his court." She smirked.

"Uh yeah. I can do that." She nodded. She glanced up and saw Olivia and Barba staring at her. "I gotta go, but I'll take care of that for you."

"Thanks. Bye." She ended the call.

Amanda set her phone down. She wrote London's number down on a piece of paper.

"Everything alright Rollins?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah. Fantastic." She rolled her eyes. "If London ever comes back to see me I'm going to take some time off."

Olivia nodded.

"Barba. She wants to talk to you." She held up the piece of paper.

He nodded taking the paper from her. He needed to prep them for court.

"Call her. Use my office." Olivia nudged him. She knew he wouldn't be able to concentrate otherwise.

"It can wait." He muttered.

"No. Go do it now." Olivia insisted.

He rolled his eyes and walked to her office, closing the door behind him. He sunk into a chair and rubbed his temples. He didn't like that London was leaving.

* * *

London was waiting for her flight when her phone rang. She didn't recognize the number so she hoped it was Rafael calling. "Hello?" She answered.

"So you were going to leave without saying goodbye?" He fussed.

She smiled. "You know me." She hated goodbyes.

"I do know you." He smiled. "Or I did anyway. I want to get to know you again." He admitted.

She felt her cheeks get hot. He could be sweet when he wanted to be. "I would like that."

"So I take it you didn't tell Rollins where you were going?" He asked.

"I didn't know and I wasn't going to until I got to the airport."

"Ah." He wanted to ask, but wasn't sure if he should.

"I'll tell you and you can tell her if you want to." She began. "We have a rule. I don't ask her about her work and she doesn't ask me about mine. This crosses into her area. It's about reports of police brutality. I'm flying to Baltimore. I shouldn't be there long. Liam emailed me his notes. I could kick his tail for sticking me with this."

"So why did he?" He asked before he thought it through. "He knows your husband was a cop?"

"Yeah he knows. He said he was dealing with something and couldn't get away to finish this. He says he'll owe me big. I'll make him regret asking me to do this." She fumed.

He chuckled.

"What's so funny?!" She fussed.

"You haven't lost your fire." He smirked. "I always liked that about you. You kept me on my toes."

She wasn't sure what to say. "Rafael." She heard the boarding call for her flight.

He heard the page in the background. "Have a safe flight. Call me if you need anything. And I mean it."

"Like if I need a lawyer because I've been arrested?" She joked.

"Yes. Especially then." He rolled his eyes. "If you need me I will be there in a heartbeat." He was serious.

Her heart skipped a beat. "Thank you Rafi."

He smiled. "You're welcome. Stay safe."

"I will."

He ended the call and smiled to himself. She had called him Rafi. Maybe they were making progress.

* * *

"Did she tell you were she was going? What she was doing?" Amanda asked Barba when he walked out of Olivia's office.

"No. She didn't." He lied.

"She didn't even hint at it? She wouldn't tell me anything about it." She was worried.

He sucked in a breath. "She mentioned you two have a rule." He watched Amanda's eyes get big.

"She did tell you! It's bad isn't it?" She fumed.

"Detective. Calm down." He began.

"Calm down? She is my best friend! I am worried about her!" She yelled. "And you? You're just the bastard that broke her heart!"

"Amanda." Nick placed his hands on her shoulders. "Let's take a walk." He guided her to the door.

"Rafael. I'm sorry." Olivia shook her head. "I…"

"No need. She's right." He held up his hands. "I am the bastard that broke her best friend's heart. And I have regretted it every day since. But enough of that." He cleared his throat. "I need to prep your team."

* * *

"I apologize that I am filling in for Liam." London smiled at the woman she was interviewing.

"That's quite alright dear. I just want to tell my story. Raise awareness." She nodded. "For once someone isn't telling me to be quiet."

"Let's get started." She glanced over Liam's notes. The woman had lost her son. She felt the tears well up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry." She wiped her eyes. "I thought I could do this, but I can't. You deserve to have your story told. My husband was a police officer. A detective in Atlanta. He was killed during a bust four years ago. I don't deserve to be the one to tell your story." She shook her head.

The woman gripped her hand. "Baby, you don't deserve to go through that much pain! You are as deserving as anyone to tell my story. I don't harbor ill towards the officers that shot my baby. I want people to know my story and just maybe it saves someone else from going through that kind of pain. You understand the pain. I want you to tell my story." She hugged her.

"Okay. I'll do it." London whispered.

* * *

Two days later London was back on a flight to New York City. She took a cab to Mandy's apartment and knocked on her door. "Hey."

"Hey!" Amanda hugged her.

"I'm sorry you worried." London hugged her.

"I never said I worried." Amanda stepped back to let her inside.

"Rafael told me." London smirked and walked in.

"He told you?" She didn't believe her.

"He texted me and told me how pissed you were. You know our rule."

"I know." She rolled her eyes.

"Did you really call him the bastard that broke my heart?" She wondered if he was exaggerating.

"I did." She rolled her eyes again. "Liv read me the riot act over it. Apparently I could have gotten in a lot of trouble for yelling at the A.D.A."

"I'm sure." She sat down on the couch. "So I was in Baltimore. I had to interview a woman whose son was shot and killed by the police."

"Oh my gosh. And Liam knew." Amanda sat beside her.

"Of course he knew." She scoffed. "I haven't talked to him and I will give him an earful when I do."

"I'm glad you're back."

"Me too."

"We should go out tonight." Amanda suggested.

"I have a reporter's dinner thing tonight. We can go out after that." She compromised. "I just need to make an appearance."

"Alright. I'll hold you to it. I've got to get to work. But I'm so glad you're back." She hugged her again. "Does Barba know that you are back?"

"No. If you see him you can tell him. If you want." She chuckled.

* * *

 **Harvard University**

"Are you sure I can't get you anything Miss?" The waiter asked. London had been sitting at the table for an hour.

"No thank you." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I guess he forgot. I'm sorry I tied up your table for this long."

"Don't worry about that." He smiled kindly.

"Thank you." She picked up her purse before walking out of the restaurant. She checked her phone. Of course he hadn't called. He was probably neck deep in a paper or a case or something. She went back to her apartment and changed into her pajamas half expecting him to call as soon she did. But he didn't. She curled up on her couch and cried. She loved him. And she knew he loved her. She was mad at herself for crying.

* * *

Rafael saw London getting coffee. "Hi Vern." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes and brushed passed him. She was miffed that he stood her up the night before.

"Whoa!" He fussed. "What's with the attitude?"

"Really?" She turned and stared him down. "What happened to you last night?"

"What was last night?" He had been working on a paper and a presentation.

"Dinner? I waited for an hour for you Rafi."

It all came flooding back to him. "Damn it." He muttered. "London. I am so sorry."

"What's going on with you?" She touched his face.

"All this work. I am swamped. I feel like don't have time to sleep. And I certainly don't have any time for you. And God I wish I did." He grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her.

She dropped her coffee and wrapped her arms around him, returning the kiss.

"I love you." He whispered as he pulled away. "I can't focus on you like I want to right now." He couldn't believe what he was saying. "I need a break."

He continued talking, but she didn't hear anything else.

"London. I'm sorry."

"Rafi. I love you. And I would have stuck with you. If this is what you want I will walk away and you can always wonder what could have been."

He could see the tears in her eyes, or maybe they were in his. He hated himself in that moment.

"Goodbye." She turned and walked away.

* * *

 **Present Day**

"Hey Rollins!" Carisi called her when she walked in the squad room.

"Good morning Carisi." She smiled.

"Someone is in a good mood." Nick smiled.

"Yeah. London's back." She beamed. "She showed up right before I left."

"That's great. Ask Liv if you can take some time off."

"Nah. London has a dinner thing tonight and then we're going out. Y'all are welcome to join us."

"Sounds good to me." Carisi said.

* * *

London sat outside a café drinking her coffee. She absently twisted the gold band on her right ring finger. The setting held a ruby and six tiny accent diamonds. She wondered if she should have kept it. But. His grandmother had given it to her. She couldn't exactly part with it. She picked up her phone and sent Rafael a text message. 'I'm sorry.'

Rafael was in Olivia's office with Fin going over some details for trial. He saw her name on the screen and read her message. 'What do you mean?' He texted her.

'I'm sorry I walked away. I should never have done that.' She wiped a tear off her cheek.

"Are we set here?" Rafael asked Olivia and Fin.

"Yeah. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just something I need to take care of." He put his phone in his pocket.

"Alright. See you in court." Olivia nodded.

* * *

Amanda looked up when Barba walked out of Olivia's office. "I don't know if she told you, but she's back." She smiled.

"I didn't know that. Thank you Detective." He walked out.

She could have sworn she saw the man smile.

Rafael sent London a message. 'Where are you? Send me the address. I'll come to you.'

* * *

 _ **Let me know what you thought! Thanks! :)**_


	4. Chapter 4 Beautiful

_This chapter has been written for a while and I've finally gotten it where I want it. Sorry for the wait. It ended up being a little longer than I thought. I hope you don't mind... :)_

* * *

"I see you still aren't good at hellos either." Rafael smirked.

London rolled her eyes. "I bought you a coffee. I wasn't sure if you are still a coffee purist or not…"

"That's fine. Thank you." He sat down at the table.

"Thank you for coming."

"Of course." He smiled at her. "Anything for you."

She blushed.

"I see you survived Baltimore." He cleared his throat.

"Yeah. I did." She stared at her coffee.

He placed his hand on top of hers causing her to look up at him. "Are you okay?" He asked kindly.

"I don't know. Baltimore threw me for a loop." She liked the warmth of his hand on hers.

He noticed the ring on her finger and smiled.

"I couldn't part with it. She was such a sweet woman."

"That she was." He remembered her fondly. "You know she…" He didn't want to relive it but didn't know if she knew.

"Your mama called me." She interrupted.

"Of course she did. I should have known that she would keep in contact with you." He chuckled.

"She did. Abuelita called me not long after we split. She wanted to know why we split and if you had bumped your head."

"That sounds like her. She asked me the same thing." He shook his head. Abuelita had popped him on the head over it. "Did Mommy tell you it was my fault?"

Lucia had told her that Rafael blamed himself. "She didn't say it was your fault."

"So she told you what happened?" He frowned.

"She did. It's not your fault. You did what you thought was best for her. She knew how much you loved her."

He knew she did, but he still blamed himself.

"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I didn't walk away." She changed the subject.

"Don't think that. There's no way to know." He had wondered the same thing many times.

"And there is no way to know what would have happened with Abuelita." She turned the tables on him.

"I'm glad you're back." He smiled.

"I am too." She agreed.

"I don't want to lose you again!" He blurted, sounding more desperate than he meant to.

"Rafi, I'm not going anywhere." She placed her free hand on top of his.

He nodded. "What about Liam?"

"What about him?" She didn't see the big deal. "Do you think there is something going on?"

"Is there?" He asked.

"No. I've known Liam for years. He started working for the AP shortly after I did. We're friends Rafi. Nothing more. You may hear me call him 'hon' or 'baby' but that's just my southern coming out." She smiled. "I promise."

He felt a little better. "What are you doing tonight?"

"I have a reporter's dinner and then I'm going out with Mandy. I think she was going to invite her coworkers so you should come too." She smiled.

"I'd like that." He admitted. "I've got to get to court." He said after glancing at his watch.

"Okay. I'll see you later then." She placed a light kiss on his cheek.

His heart soared. "I'll see you later." He cupped her cheek in his hand and kissed her mouth.

Her stomach flipped.

He pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers. "I've missed you." He whispered.

"I've missed you too."

He softly kissed her forehead before reluctantly walking away.

* * *

"Sarge. You need to see this." Nick said as Olivia and Barba walked in the squad room. "You too Counselor." He turned the volume up on the news. Details of the case had been leaked.

"How did this happen?" Olivia huffed.

"We're trying to find that out." Amanda said. "Carisi and Fin just left to talk to the newspaper reporter. A Benjamin Sudeski." She read the name.

* * *

"Look. Detectives. I want to help you, but I can't." The reporter shrugged. "I don't know where the article came from. It showed up on my desk this morning. He picked up the envelope off his desk. I ran it by my editor. He approved it." He handed the envelope to Fin. "The information I have is in there. Maybe you can figure out where it came from."

"Thanks." Fin said smugly.

* * *

"He's hiding something." Fin muttered as they walked outside.

"Agreed." Carisi looked over the notes. "Hey Fin. Look at this." He showed him one of the pages.

"Shorthand." He shook his head. "That could be anybody. Lots of reporters use it." He knew what Carisi was thinking.

"Yeah, but we know one such reporter." He said.

"Still, it could be anybody."

"Rollins isn't going to like this." He shook his head.

"I don't like it either." Fin said.

* * *

"Hey! What did you two find?" Olivia asked when Carisi and Fin walked in.

"The reporter claims he doesn't know where the information came from." Fin rolled his eyes. "I don't buy it."

"It's in shorthand." Carisi said.

"Shorthand?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah. I think these are scans of the original notes. I know London can write it and I'm assuming she reads it. I know she's a reporter when it suits…"

"When it suits?" Amanda interrupted with a chuckle. "She told you that?"

"Yeah. What's so funny?" He didn't know why she was laughing at him.

"She's been a reporter for years. It's her full time job."

"So she can decipher it?" He asked.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Would she have written it?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know. I didn't think she knew much about the case, if anything at all. We have our rule. I don't ask about her work and she doesn't ask about mine. We keep work and friendship separate." She explained.

"Call her and ask her to come in." Olivia instructed.

Amanda nodded.

* * *

London stepped out of the cab. She had downplayed the importance of this event. It wasn't just a dinner. It was more of a gala. She was wearing a black long-sleeved floor length gown. Her hair was up in a clip. She was walking up the stairs when her phone started ringing. She stopped to dig it out of her gold clutch. "Hello?" She answered without looking at it.

"Hey!" Amanda said. "Are you at your dinner?"

"I just got here. Everything okay?" She wondered if something was up.

"Uh yeah. Liv was wondering if you could come by and look at something." She had her on speaker phone. Olivia nodded.

"What is it Amanda?"

"It's notes in shorthand." Olivia answered. "I don't have anyone that could translate it as fast as you. The reporter was no help. It seems like there is more than what's in the article." The article was short. There were pages and pages of notes.

London sighed. "Alright. I at least need to say hello to the boss man. He's supposed to be here somewhere. I'll come by after that."

"I'll send a uniform to pick you up." She offered.

"Hmm. Is Rafael there?" She asked.

"I'm here." He spoke up.

"Tell them what happened over spring break." She said before hanging up.

He smirked.

"Was that when she was arrested?" Amanda asked. "She's never told me that whole story."

"Mmhmm." He nodded. "She was working on a story for her journalism class. The story changes on what exactly was said, but words were exchanged between her and a twenty-three year veteran of the Atlanta Police Department. Unfortunately for him, her parents are both high-power attorneys in Atlanta. She tried to tell him that she couldn't be booked and fingerprinted." He chuckled. "He didn't listen. Apparently she is allergic to the ink. Her parents filed a suit. He was forced into early retirement. She felt terrible about it."

"Maybe I should go pick her up." Nick said.

"No. We need to go over your testimony for tomorrow." Olivia said. "Carisi. You go."

"Got it." He headed out.

"Hey Counselor." Amanda called him.

"Yes Detective?"

"You went to go see her. Didn't you?" She smiled.

He gave her a small smirk before walking to Olivia's office.

* * *

London walked out of the New York City Library. She rolled her eyes when she saw Carisi leaning against his car. "You my escort?" She snorted.

"Apparently so." He opened the door for her. "You look nice." He commented.

"Thank you." She got in the car. "Rafael told you what happened before?" She asked after he got in.

"Yeah. So Sarge sent me."

"I just didn't want there to be another misunderstanding." She rolled her eyes and looked out the window.

"Whoa! You seriously understated this dinner." Amanda commented when London walked in with Carisi.

"Technically it was a gala." She shrugged.

"I'll say." Rafael looked her over. "You look great."

"Thanks." She blushed. She had forgotten how he could make her feel. "So what do you want me to look at?" She cleared her throat.

"Here is the article." Amanda showed her the white board. "And here are the scanned pages of shorthand." She pointed.

"So most reporters have a signature of some kind to their shorthand. Something distinctive." London started reading. "These two pages are the basis of the article." She pointed to the first two pages.

"Do you see a signature?" Olivia asked.

London held up a finger while she continued to read. "These pages are something else entirely. This is personal. A tribute. Flowers have poured in. No one really knows what to say about you, a beautiful boy who died." She felt a lump grow in her throat. "You were bright. You were funny. Ronnie, I only wish we had more than four years with you.." The pieces were making sense. "Son of a…" She muttered and her phone rang. It was Liam. "Hey. What's up?" She usually called him baby, but it didn't feel right with Rafael standing there.

"I'm at the gala. Have you already left?" He was walking outside.

"Uh, yeah. I had to help Mandy with something." She tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Your hot cop friend?" He smirked.

"Yeah." She rolled her eyes. "We need to talk."

"Yeah we do." He hailed a taxi. "You at the 16th precinct?" He knew what precinct Amanda worked at.

"Yep."

He gave the driver the address.

"How long have you been back in New York?" She asked.

There was a pause.

"Liam. How long have you been back in New York?" She repeated her question.

"A few weeks." He admitted.

"Damn it Liam!" She knew for sure he wrote the article.

"You saw the article. Mandy needed you to translate my notes." He leaned his head back against the seat.

"Why didn't you just tell me? I would have understood about Baltimore." She had tears in her eyes.

"I know Babe. My head is messed up right now. And Sonia is a wreck." His voice cracked.

"I'm so so sorry." She put her face in her hand as she started weeping.

"I'll be there soon." He ended the call.

London set her phone down and cried into her hands.

Rafael wanted to comfort her, but he didn't know if he should.

Olivia nudged him.

He walked over to London putting his hands on her shoulders.

She looked up at him with smeared makeup and wrapped her arms around him.

He held her in his arms, relishing the moment. He didn't care if her makeup got on his suit.

She sniffled and pulled away. "Liam wrote the article. These are his notes. His nephew was the four year old boy who…" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Damn." Fin muttered.

"He's on his way here." She picked up a notepad and wrote down the translation.

* * *

Liam walked in the squad room still in his tux. His eyes were red.

"Hey." London hugged him.

"Hey." He returned the hug and pressed a kiss into her hair. "You clean up nicely." He joked.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you too."

Rafael recognized him. He had been in the courtroom.

"Hey Mandy." He hugged her.

"Hey Liam." She smiled.

"So how did you find out about the article?" He asked her.

"It was on the news." Amanda said. "And also in the Post."

He frowned.

"Tell me you didn't send it to Benji." London had her hands on her hips.

"Yep, that's who I sent it to."

She smacked his arm. "You might as well have released it yourself!" She fussed at him.

"I know okay!" He fussed at her. "I told you my head is messed up right now."

 **"** **Hey!"** She fussed in Romanian. **"You should have told me. You know I would have helped you. And I certainly wouldn't have been so pissed about Baltimore!"**

He rolled his eyes. He didn't like it, but she was right. **"I know. I'm sorry. I will owe you forever. I just can't believe he's gone. That Bastard killed him!"** He rubbed his face. **"So how much trouble am I in here?"**

 **"** **I don't know. They haven't said. They were trying to figure out who leaked the story."**

He nodded as he answered his phone. "Hey Sonia." He walked out of the room.

"So?" Amanda asked her.

London shrugged and threw up her hands. "I don't know. He's upset. Blames the doctor for what happened."

"But is it the doctor's fault?" Rafael asked. He hated playing Devil's advocate.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" She cut her eyes at him.

It hurt for her to look at him that way. "Look. What the guy did makes me sick. But. I need to know if it was possible that Ronnie was going to die anyway. If I don't bring it up the defense will. And I'd rather not be blindsided."

She understood where he was coming from. "You'll need to talk to his parents. His mother, Sonia, is Liam's sister."

Liam walked back in. "What about Sonia?" He asked.

"I need to talk to her." Rafael said. "I have some questions about your nephew. I'd rather find out before the defense brings it up."

"Like what?"

"What was Ronnie's prognosis? If it was grim to begin with, the defense could argue that while the doctor's actions may have hastened his death; they did not directly cause it. That could get him a lesser sentence."

"I'll talk to her." Liam nodded. "I can't promise that she'll agree to talk to you, but I'll try."

"Try hard. Otherwise we can arrest you for obstruction because of the article." Fin spoke up.

"Yeah. I know." Liam said. He turned to London. **"I owe you for Baltimore. I promise I will make it up to you."** He spoke in his native tongue.

 **"** **Get Sonia to talk to them. That's a start."** She answered.

"We've got to work on your Romanian." He chuckled. "It sucks."

"It doesn't suck." She swatted at him.

"Maybe it doesn't suck, but you're definitely rusty."

"Oh yeah?" She placed her hands on her hips. "Which part?"

"All of it."

She cut her eyes at him and swore at him in Romanian.

Rafael had to hide his smirk. That look and her fiery temper was funny when it wasn't directed at him.

Liam held his hands up and chuckled. "Fair enough. It's not rusty." He turned to leave.

"He is so full of crap." She scoffed.

"I forget you speak Romanian." Amanda said.

"Mmhmm." She nodded.

"We're still on to go out. Right?" Amanda changed the subject.

"Yeah. I need to go change."

"Why?" Rafael asked.

"I'm overdressed."

"We don't care." Amanda said. "Let's go." She grabbed her friend's arm.

* * *

"So in case you hadn't noticed." Amanda whispered in her friend's ear. "Barba hasn't taken his eyes off of you."

"Oh I've noticed." London smirked with her glass against her lips. Rafael was standing at a short distance talking to the guys and Olivia. "When we dated he would look at me like that; like I was the only woman in the room." She had gone by Amanda's apartment to change even though he had said she didn't need to. "Did you see how he looked at me when I walked in the squad room earlier?" She felt her cheeks flush.

"Yeah, it was kind of hard not to." Amanda nudged her. "The man is definitely still in to you."

"I'd say so. He kissed me earlier."

"What? And you didn't lead with that?" Amanda smacked her hand down on the bar.

London shrugged. "It was sweet. And perfect." She grinned.

"You are either drunk or still in love with that man." Amanda chuckled.

"Definitely. And I'm not drunk." London winked before standing up. She didn't quite have her balance when she stood up.

Rafael noticed and was by her side in an instant. "Are you alright?" He touched her arm.

"I am now." The words spilled out before she could stop them. Maybe she was tipsy.

He smiled. "Good. I'm glad. You and Rollins get to talk?"

"We did." She nodded. "I was going to come over and see what y'all were talking about. Work?"

"Actually no. Carisi is taking night classes; law school."

"Whoa that's tough." She reached for her drink, taking a sip.

"It is." He nodded.

"You should help him." She teased. She knew how he hated tutoring.

His smile fell. "That's not funny." His eyes narrowed.

"Oh you know it is." She laughed, loosening his tie. "Just admit it."

"Hmph. I'd rather not." He shook his head. He was trying to stay focused, but she was throwing him off his game.

Her fingers curled around his tie without her realizing it. She wanted to get lost in his eyes.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered.

Her breath caught in her throat. She hadn't been told that in a while. There might have been a guy or two who just thought he could get lucky, but the last guy who meant it had been Eddie. She let go of his tie. "Be right back." She muttered and turned from him. "Bathroom?" She looked at Amanda.

Amanda nodded and walked with her.

* * *

"What did he say?" Amanda asked when they reached the bathroom.

"He told me how beautiful I was." London had tears in her eyes.

"And that's a bad thing?" She didn't follow.

"The last guy who really meant that was Eddie." She threw her hands up in defeat. She loved Rafael and she knew she would always love Eddie.

"Oh Honey!" Amanda hugged her.

* * *

"Where did Barba go?" Amanda asked when she and London reappeared from the bathroom.

"Outside. He got a phone call." Nick said. "You okay?" He looked at London. "He looked worried about you."

"I'm okay. Is he still outside? Or did he leave?" London needed to see him.

"He said he would be back." He shrugged.

"I'll go see." She walked for the door before Amanda could say anything to her.

* * *

Rafael was standing outside leaning against the building. He had faked the phone call. He needed fresh air. He hadn't meant to upset her.

"Hey." London saw him. "I said I would be right back." She teased.

"Phone call." He shrugged.

"Don't lie to me." She saw right through it.

"I needed air." He let out a defeated sigh. He couldn't hide from her.

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"Don't be. I didn't think before I said it and I'm sure this must still be hard for you." He reached up and stroked her face.

Tears appeared in her eyes again. "It is sometimes and Eddie was the last one who really meant it when he said I was beautiful. I know you really meant it…" She took a step closer to him.

That was all he needed. He pulled her in his arms and kissed her hard.

Her arms flung themselves around him as she returned the kiss.

He could taste the cinnamon from her mouth and he didn't think life could get much better in this moment.

She struggled to keep her mind clear as he deepened the kiss and their tongues clashed. She knew she had to be careful or she would end up in bed with him. Not that that would be a bad thing. She wanted to be clear headed; not drunk. He deserved better than that. Her stomach squirmed just from the thought of being with him again. She pulled away breathless and giggling. "I'm sorry!" She giggled. "I was out of breath." She tried to catch her breath.

"I was too." He nodded. His heart was racing. He held her face in his hands.

"Rafi." She whispered. "I've missed you." She pressed her lips against his.

He relished the feel of her lips on his. "I've missed you Vern." He smirked.

"Ruin a beautiful moment Rafi." She rolled her eyes.

"It's not ruined Veronica London." He said her full name, or the name he had always called her anyway. "Do you still use Winters?" He asked hesitantly.

She nodded. "It's still on all of the paperwork. If my name is on an article it's London Winters." Her words weren't coming out as clear as she wanted them too.

"It suits you." He smiled. "Beautiful." He kissed her head and held her close.

* * *

 _Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought. :) Ideas/suggestions/critiques/etc. are always welcome!_


	5. Chapter 5 All We Wanted

_This chapter ended up being longer than I thought and it took a little longer than I thought it would to write._

 _P.S. I don't own the SVU characters and I didn't write the lyrics to 'All I Want' by Kodaline (It is a beautiful song and the Ellie Goulding version is beautiful as well)_

* * *

 _"All I want is nothing more/To hear you knocking at my door_

 _'Cause if I could see your face once more/I could die a happy woman I'm sure_

 _When you said your last goodbye/I died a little bit inside_

 _I lay in tears in bed all night/Alone without you by my side_

 _But if you loved me/Why'd you leave me_

 _Take my body/Take my body_

 _All I want is/And all I need is_

 _To find somebody/I'll find somebody like you"_

* * *

"Hey Amanda!" Nick caught up to his partner.

"Hey Nick." She smiled.

"Did London end up back at your place last night?" He asked as they walked in the precinct together.

"Yeah. Why?" She gave him a look.

"Just curious." He shrugged. "I honestly wondered if she went home with Barba."

She laughed.

"What's so funny?" He pressed the elevator button.

"She's not that kind of girl." Amanda stepped on the elevator. "But it wouldn't have surprised me if she did."

"He's crazy about her. I've never seen him like this."

"I haven't either." She agreed.

"I know you're enjoying London being here, but I miss you." He said in a low voice.

"I know." She missed him too.

He bumped his hand against hers.

She smiled. "I miss you too." She whispered before the elevator doors opened.

* * *

"Morning." Carisi greeted them when they walked in the squad room.

"Morning." Nick nodded.

"Morning Carisi." Amanda smiled.

Carisi couldn't help but wonder if he had interrupted something.

"Where's Liv?" Amanda asked.

"Barba called and she left for court." He began.

"Do we need to be there?" Nick sat at his desk.

"I don't think so." He shook his head.

* * *

London rolled over and fumbled for her phone when it started ringing. "Hello?" She mumbled, her voice groggy with sleep.

"Good morning." Rafael knew he had woken her up.

She chuckled at how cheerful he sounded. "Morning." Her head hurt. "You had better have a good reason for calling."

"I just wanted to hear your voice." He smirked.

Her face flushed and her heart skipped a beat. She did not expect that answer.

"And now that I have; I need you to come to the courthouse. I need to put Sonia on the stand. Liam isn't here and she won't talk to me. She called me an ass."

London chuckled. "I can't imagine why." She sat up in bed. "How much time do I have?"

"I need you here now."

"Okay. I'll catch a cab and show up in my pajamas and hungover." She fussed.

He chuckled. "I'd rather you not. I need you to be her translator."

"She speaks English."

"I know, but she is acting like she can't. I didn't know what else to do."

"Rafael Barba is in a pickle without me." She smirked.

"It's true." He admitted. "I'll make it up to you. Dinner? Tonight?" He offered.

She smiled. "That sounds nice. I'll be there soon."

* * *

London felt more awake by the time she arrived at the courthouse. She was walking up the steps when memories came flooding back. She hadn't been inside of a courthouse, let alone a courtroom, since the trial. She felt sick to her stomach. Her hands felt clammy.

Olivia saw her walk inside and walked up to her. "Hey London. Are you alright?"

London shook her head. "I thought I could do this, but I can't. Tell Rafael I'm sorry." She rubbed her hands on her pants.

"What's wrong?" Olivia was concerned about the woman.

"I haven't been to a courthouse since the man who shot my husband was on trial." She felt the tears well up in her eyes.

Olivia's heart sank. "I am so sorry." She remembered Rollins saying it hadn't ended well.

"It didn't hit me until just now." London shook her head, trying to rid herself of the painful memories.

"Let me call him." She pulled out her phone and called Barba.

"Liv. What is it?" He answered.

"I need you to come out here. I'm in the lobby talking to London."

"On my way." He ended the call.

* * *

"London." He saw she was upset. "What is it?"

"I thought I could do this, but the memories hit me and I can't." She blinked and the tears fell down her cheeks.

He brushed her tears away. "What do you mean?" He didn't understand.

"Barba." Olivia said cautiously. "She hasn't been in a courthouse since…"

"Damn it." Rafael frowned. Olivia didn't have to finish her sentence. "London. I am so sorry. I should never have asked you to do this. I didn't even think about that."

"I know." London nodded. "I didn't think about it until I got here. I'm sorry Rafi." She bit her lip to keep from crying.

"Don't be. You have no reason to be sorry." He kissed her forehead. "I should have thought it through. Forgive me?"

"Of course." She smiled.

"Are we still on for dinner tonight?"

"Definitely." She kissed his cheek.

* * *

"Hey Mandy." London answered her phone.

"Hey! Are you okay?" Amanda was glad she answered. "Liv told me what happened. I am so sorry!"

"I'm fine. Really."

"I wish I had known. I would have told Barba it was a bad idea."

"It's fine Mandy! I agreed to it and it didn't hit me until I got there. I talked to Sonia and she agreed to testify in English for me."

"That's fine, but I still feel bad."

"Don't."

"Let's go to dinner tonight. My treat."

"Can't. I have plans." She smirked.

"Really?" Amanda leaned back in her chair. "The one time I offer to pay, you have plans." She chuckled at the irony.

"I know." London laughed.

Amanda glanced up as Olivia and Barba walked in. "You wouldn't happen to have plans with a certain assistant district attorney would you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." London rolled her eyes. "But since I have plans, maybe you should make plans with a certain someone."

"Maybe I will." She laughed as she ended the call. "Counselor."

"Yes detective?" He looked at her.

"You wouldn't happened to have plans with London tonight would you?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He smirked.

"Uh huh."

* * *

 **Atlanta, Georgia, 4 years ago**

"Amanda. It's Mama." Her mother tried to hold back tears and keep it together.

"Hey Mama. It's not a good time. Can I call you back?" They had just caught a case.

"Darlin', you need to come home." Her voice cracked.

"Mama. What is it?" A chill ran down her spine.

"It's Eddie. He was shot. He's… He's dead Amanda."

Amanda covered her mouth to stifle her scream. "No Mama!" Her heart shattered for her best friend.

Fin saw the young detective and knew something was terribly wrong. He guided her to the break room.

"I'm so sorry Darlin."

"I'll be home as soon as I can. Bye Mama." She set her phone down. "Fin, I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be. Something obviously happened." He was concerned.

"Yeah. Um, my best friend's husband was shot and killed. He was Atlanta PD." She started sobbing.

"Damn. I am so sorry. What do you need? Time off? I'll clear it with Cragen."

"Time off." She nodded.

* * *

London collapsed against the hospital wall and slumped to the floor. She couldn't breathe. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Eddie couldn't be gone.

"London!"

She looked up at Jack Lewis. Her husband's partner.

"London? Are you with me?"

"I wish I wasn't." She blubbered. Tears streamed down her face. Her heart had been ripped out of her chest, stomped on, and shattered into a million pieces.

He knelt beside her taking her hand in his. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep him safe. It was supposed to be routine." He cried.

"This is not on you Jack." She leaned her head against him.

He dropped her hand and wrapped her in a hug.

"Jack?!" His wife Molly ran to him. "Oh my gosh Jack!" She saw the blood on his clothes.

"Molly!" He jumped up and threw his arms around her.

"Thank God you're alright! But Eddie. Oh God." She started crying again. "Oh London." She dropped to her knees to hug her friend.

* * *

Amanda rang the doorbell at her best friend's house. She couldn't believe London was still staying there.

"Hi Amanda." Molly answered the door. "Come on in."

"Thanks." She stepped in and closed the door behind her.

"Mandy!" London walked out of the kitchen.

"London!" The two friends embraced.

London broke down in sobs.

"I'm so sorry." Amanda hugged her tight. "I got here as soon as I could." She cried. "I'm so sorry!"

* * *

 **Harvard University**

Rafael watched London walk away from him. The woman of his dreams. He wanted to kick himself for being so stupid. He wanted to wake up from the nightmare. He honestly couldn't imagine his life without her; now he would have to. He decided in that moment to throw himself into his work; it was the only other thing that had ever mattered.

* * *

Rafael about choked on his coffee when he saw London with another man. He wanted to talk to her, but didn't know how.

London felt eyes on her. She looked to her left and saw Him. She gave him a small smile. She turned to Eddie to give him her order before walking over to Rafael. "Hello."

"Hello." He smiled. "Now that I've seen you again I can die happy."

"Rafael Barba." Her face flushed. "You shouldn't say such things."

"I know." He shrugged. "What's it been? Six months?" It had felt like years without her.

"Something like that." She was trying to move on, but she still missed him.

"Here you are Darling." Eddie handed her coffee to her.

"Thank you Sweetheart." She smiled at him. "Eddie, this is Rafael Barba. We were at Harvard together."

"Eddie Winters. It's a pleasure." He held out his hand.

"Likewise." He shook the man's hand. "Take care of her."

"Will do." Eddie nodded.

"Nice to see you London."

"You too Rafael."

He nodded and walked out of the café. It stung that she had moved on. And it stung that he was more cordial to the man than he cared to be.

* * *

 **Present Day**

London arrived at the restaurant at seven. She was wearing a navy blue dress and had curled her hair.

She checked her phone and couldn't remember if Rafael had told her seven or seven-thirty. She always preferred to be early. She glanced at her phone again and couldn't help but wonder if he would forget about dinner.

* * *

Rafael walked in the restaurant at seven-fifteen. He was surprised to London already sitting at the table he had reserved. "Hey." He smiled when he walked up to her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Hi." She smiled.

"I thought I told you seven-thirty? Or did I tell you seven?" He draped his coat over the chair next to hers before sitting across from her.

"I thought you said seven. But maybe you didn't." She shrugged. "It's fine though."

He reached across the table for her hand. "I'm sorry if I worried you, if I made you think I had forgotten again." He had never forgiven himself for putting his school work before her. He swore he would never put anything ahead of her again.

She squeezed his hand. "But you didn't forget." She smiled.

He grinned.

"I haven't seen that in a long time." He use to grin at her like that all the time.

"Haven't had a reason to." He winked at her.

* * *

London pushed the last piece of her steak around the plate with her fork.

"What is it?" Rafael asked. "And don't say it's nothing." He smirked.

She shrugged. "My house sold today." She spoke absently. "I found out this afternoon and I've had mixed emotions about it."

"Is the sale a good thing?" He asked as she finished her steak.

"Yes and no. I guess."

"When did you put it on the market?"

"A few months ago."

"It sold fast."

"It did. I had been talking about it. Celia thought I should sell it. My friend Molly offered to list it for me. I figured it wouldn't hurt."

"And then it sold."

"Yep. It's a good thing, but it's hard right now." She felt a lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry." He offered.

"Thank you Rafi."

"For what?" He didn't understand.

"For being so sweet to me."

He chuckled nervously. "You're welcome."

"I mean it." She reached for his hand.

"I know you did. I meant it too. I was stupid to you before and I never want to do it again." He squeezed her hand.

"You know what? I could go for a coffee." She smirked.

"I could too, and I just so happen to know a place."

* * *

The couple walked out of the restaurant together. Rafael had his arm around her waist. London enjoyed being close to him. They walked to a coffee shop a block up the street and sat in a corner booth.

"It may not look like much, but the coffee makes up for it." He smiled.

"I'll say." She sipped her coffee. "I'll be up all night."

"There is such a thing as decaf. You know that right?" He teased her.

"I know." She gave him a playful shove.

He laughed and leaned in to kiss her.

She smiled against his lips. She knew she still loved him. She wanted to tell him.

"London. I want you in my life. I love you." He stroked her cheek.

She remembered the first time he told her he loved her and how it made her feel. She felt the same butterflies that she felt before. "I love you too Rafi." She beamed. "I love you." She whispered again before kissing him.

* * *

"Hey." Amanda looked up when London let herself in the apartment.

"Hey." London smiled.

"I wasn't sure what time you'd be in."

"Did you have a nice night?" London saw the pizza box and beer bottles on the coffee table.

"Yeah. You know. Don't you?" She rolled her eyes.

"Two beer bottles was kind of a give away, but yeah I know. I already knew." London sat on the couch with her friend.

"So how was your night? I take it Barba showed up this time?"

"He did." London smiled. "Dinner was perfect. He was perfect. We walked to a coffee place not far from the restaurant. He kissed me and told me he wanted me in his life and that he loved me." She beamed.

Amanda covered her mouth in excitement.

London laughed at her reaction.

"What did you say?!" Amanda demanded.

"I felt like I did the first time he told me he loved me. I told him that I loved him. I am in love with him. There's no doubt in my mind." She felt the tears well up. "And I'm happy. Really happy." She sniffled and wiped the tears away. "I don't know why I'm crying. I'm not sad."

"I know you're not." Amanda hugged her. "I'm so happy for you."

* * *

London opened the door when she heard a knock. It was Nick.

"Oh." His smile faded. "Um, good morning."

"Nice try." She stepped aside to let him in.

"Hey Nick." Amanda saw him. "She knows."

"Okay. Cool." He thought they had been careful enough.

"I've known." London smiled.

"Is it that obvious?" He was worried that Liv would find out.

"London is just very perceptive." She shot her friend a look. She didn't want her to freak Nick out.

"Amanda told me you sold your house."

"Uh yeah. I did." London nodded.

"Congrats and condolences."

"Thank you Nick." She gave him a smile.

"I can't imagine how hard it is."

She nodded, checking the text message from her sister-in-law. She responded and looked back at Amanda and Nick. "I'm meeting Rachel for breakfast."

"Does she know?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah. I'll see y'all later."

* * *

London walked in the diner and saw Rachel had a table by a window. "Hi Rachel."

"Hey!" Rachel stood up and hugged her. "How are you doing? Really?" She asked as they sat down. The waitress brought London a mug of coffee.

"I'm conflicted. On the one hand I'm glad the house sold, but on the other…" Her voice trailed off and she sipped her coffee.

"I understand the mixture of emotions. I'm glad it sold, but part of me is sad because it was my baby brother's house."

"It's not the only reason I'm conflicted."

"What do you mean?"

"I have reconnected with my Harvard boyfriend."

"The one right before Eddie?"

"Mmhmm." London nodded with a smile.

"Celia said something about Amanda fixing you up with a guy here in the city." Rachel chuckled. "Same guy huh?"

"Yeah."

"Good for you London. You look happy. And I know that's what Eddie would want for you."

"I know. I just always thought 'Till death do us part' would be decades away. A part of me feels guilty that I'm moving on."

"Don't you dare feel guilty!" Rachel grabbed London's hands. "I know how much Eddie loved you and I can tell how much you still love him. I know that all he would want is for you to be happy, loved and safe." She squeezed her hands. "Don't feel guilty for doing something that he would want."

"I am absolutely appalled at how you exploited your patients at the most vulnerable times of their lives." The Judge spoke to the doctor before sentencing. Rafael sat and listened. The doctor had been found guilty of the counts of healthcare fraud, false statements, and conspiracy to commit fraud. He was found not guilty on the counts of medical malpractice. They were unable to prove medical malpractice. The fraud charges alone would strip him of his medical license. "Members of the jury, the State of New York thanks you for your service."

Rafael could hear Sonia sobbing. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You did everything you could." Olivia said kindly.

"Did I?" He huffed as they walked out.

Sonia saw them and walked up to them.

"I am so sorry. I was sure we had him." He apologized.

"I know. Thank you for what you did." Her eyes were red.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more." He tried to smile.

"It wasn't the verdict we wanted, but he's going to prison for the rest of his life." Liam added.

"I'm so sorry that this happened." Olivia felt bad for them.

"I can't help but wonder if my article caused the problem."

"I don't think that had anything to do with it." She shook her head.

"But what if it did?" He asked sadly.

* * *

 _Thank you for reading. Let me know what you thought, if you like it or not and any suggestions etc. :)_


	6. Chapter 6 Take Care part 1

_Sorry I haven't updated in a while... Life has been crazy and this chapter was giving me fits. I promise I will try to do better! :)_

* * *

Rafael hadn't been home long when there was a knock on the door. He wondered if Liv had more information about the latest case. He walked to the door and smiled when he looked through the peephole. It was London. He opened the door.

"Hey. I'm sorry to stop by so late." She began. "I just flew in." She still had her luggage with her.

"Please come in." He stepped aside.

"I'm on my way to Mandy's, but I wanted to see you." She blushed slightly as she walked in.

He smiled as he closed the door. "I'm glad you're back." He pulled her into a hug.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head on his chest.

"How was Atlanta?" He wasn't sure if he should ask.

"Everything is blooming; pollen is everywhere. My sinuses have been giving me fits." She knew that wasn't what he was wondering. "Everything is settled. I got everything packed up that I needed to. The furniture went with the house. I shipped everything to his sister's. I didn't stop to think what else I wanted." Now she was rambling. She looked up at him and saw the concern on his face.

Rafael rubbed her shoulders. "I'm sorry you are hurting. If I could fix it I would." He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I know Rafi. I love you." She leaned her head against his chest as tears filled her eyes.

"I love you too." He wished he could take away her pain. He would give anything to take it away.

She pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I should go so I can get to Mandy's." She wondered if Nick was over there.

"I'll drive you." He stated. He wasn't sure if it was an offer or a demand.

"I'll be fine." She smiled. "I can take care of myself." She smirked.

He chuckled. "I know you can, but I wish you'd let me take care of you."

She felt her face flush. She had not expected him to say that. She opened her mouth to respond, but closed it and shook her head. She sat down on his sofa.

He sat down next to her, taking her hands in his. "London. I love you. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure I never lose you again. I promise."

"You promised before." She spoke out loud, not meaning to.

Her words cut deep. "I know I did. And I was stupid to break that promise. I have regretted it every moment of every day since then. I am so sorry." His voice cracked.

She hadn't meant to say that; she didn't mean to hurt him. She blinked and the tears she didn't know where there spilled down her cheeks. "Rafael Barba. I love you. I know how much you love me. I know you don't make promises lightly. You have beaten yourself up enough over this. Please stop. I'm not going anywhere. And I don't want you to let me go. Ever." She squeezed his hands.

Relief washed over him. Letting go of her hands, he stroked her face. "I love you so much." He kissed her hard.

She lost her balance and fell backwards on the sofa pulling him with her.

His pulse quickened. He wasn't thinking clearly. He needed to take her back to Rollins' apartment. "I should take you back to Rollins' apartment."

She kissed his mouth, his cheek, his temple; she didn't want to leave him.

"London." He didn't want her to leave, but needed to be sure she wanted to stay.

"Rafael." She matched his tone. "I don't want to leave you."

"I don't want you to leave either." He admitted.

"So now that we have that settled… Now what?" She yawned. She didn't realize she was that tired.

"You should get some sleep." He wanted everything to go right between them this time.

"I'm fine."

"Oh I know you are." He smirked.

She laughed.

"Come on." He stood up and pulled her with him. "Kitchen." He pointed. "Bathroom, bedroom." He gestured down the hall. He picked up her luggage that she had left by the door and carried it to the bedroom.

She followed him, wondering what he was up to.

"And bathroom connected to the bedroom." He set her luggage down in his bedroom and grabbed a pillow off the bed. "Goodnight." He gave her a quick kiss.

"Where are you going?"

"Sofa. Night." He started to close the door.

"Rafi. I'm not kicking you out of your bed."

"I know. I'm kicking myself out." He smirked.

She took the pillow from him and threw it back on the bed. "You don't have to kick yourself out either."

He swallowed hard. "Yeah; I do." He stroked her cheek. "Goodnight."

She nodded knowingly. She knew how desperately he wanted things to go right between them. She wanted it too. "Goodnight."

He left his hand on her cheek. It was all he could do to be a gentleman.

She brushed her lips across his. "Night Rafi." She picked the pillow up and handed it to him.

"Night mi amor." He winked at her as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

Her stomach felt fluttery. She liked that he had that affect on her.

* * *

London woke up and heard water running. It took her a moment to realize that she wasn't in Atlanta anymore. She had spent the night at Rafael's. The water stopped and the bathroom door opened.

"Good morning." Rafael smiled at her.

"Morning." She yawned.

"Did I wake you?" He buttoned his shirt.

"No." She rubbed her face.

"Sleep well?"

"I did. How did you sleep on the sofa?"

"It was fine." He had slept on the sofa in his office before.

"Really? You aren't just saying that?" She wasn't convinced.

"Really." He sat on the bed and leaned in to kiss her.

She met him halfway.

He pulled away, grumbling when his phone started ringing. "What?" He pressed the phone to his ear. It was Carisi.

London marveled at how he could flip a switch and be so gruff.

"I'm due in court in less than an hour. Can it wait?" He huffed, pacing the room. "Well I will put that at the top of my priority list detective." He ended the call and looked at her.

"When do you have to leave?"

"Soon." He muttered.

"Well if you give me a few minutes, I can be dressed and out of your hair." She threw back the covers and hopped out of the bed.

"I never said I wanted you out of my hair." He crossed the room and stood in front of her.

"I didn't want you to think that I expected you to let me stay here."

"Where else would you stay? Why wouldn't I want you here with me?" He stroked her cheek and kissed her.

"I don't know Rafi. I'm not even sure what I was trying to say." Her words weren't coming out right.

"Come here." He pulled her closer. "I love you."

"I love you too." She leaned her head against him. "Am I going to wrinkle your suit?" She teased.

"For once I wouldn't care." He chuckled. "Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean you have to. I'll leave you a key; stay as long as you want." He wished she would stay forever.

* * *

 _Thank you for reading. I will be posting part 2 to this chapter shortly. :) Let me know what you thought and any suggestions you might have!_


	7. Chapter 7 Take Care part 2

_Here is Take Care part 2 :)_

* * *

"You don't think Carisi knows about us do you? Or Liv?" Nick asked Amanda.

"I don't think so. Liv would have said something; Carisi too for that matter. Don't worry about it."

"I'm not." He lied.

"Yeah, yeah." She rolled her eyes. "Last night was great." She smiled, changing the subject.

"Yeah it was." He nodded. "If London figured it out…"

"You are what my mama would call 'nervous as a long-tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs'." She teased him.

He blushed.

"London could figure anything out. It's just how she is." She kissed his cheek. "Don't worry."

* * *

"Morning you two." Fin greeted his coworkers when they walked in the squad room.

"Morning." They both nodded.

Carisi grumbled and hung up his phone. "Well Barba's in a mood."

"When is he not?" Nick scoffed.

"Nick." Liv shook her head. "The deal went south."

"How did that happen?" Amanda asked.

"Perp got a new lawyer. New lawyer didn't like the deal." Fin shrugged.

"Aren't they going to be in court this afternoon?" Nick shook his head.

"They were supposed to be." Liv said.

"Amanda, when is London coming back? Maybe she can help." Nick looked at his partner.

"Um, she was supposed to get in late last night, but the flight was delayed a few times and then cancelled. I haven't actually spoken to her." Her phone had been on silent and she had been with Nick.

* * *

"Hello?" London mumbled. She had gone back to sleep after Rafael left. She wondered if it was him calling.

"Hey! I'm just checking on you. I wanted to make sure you made it back okay." Amanda said.

"Hey! Yeah I did. Finally. What time is it?" She rolled over, but didn't see an alarm clock.

"Almost 10. Are you at Rachel's?"

"Yeah." She lied. "I'm exhausted."

"I bet. What time did you get in?"

"Six." That was when the original flight was supposed to be. They swapped her to an earlier flight. She was glad she had stayed with Rafael.

"Oh wow. No wonder you're exhausted."

"Yeah." She yawned. "Do you have lunch plans?"

"No I don't. Want to meet around noon?" She hoped they didn't have to go to court early.

London glanced at her phone. She had an incoming call from her sister in law. "That sounds good. I've got another call coming in. See you at noon."

"See you." Amanda hung up.

London switched calls. "Hey Rachel."

"Hey! Did you make it back last night?"

"I did." She smiled.

"Good. I just wanted to check on you."

"Thanks Rachel."

"Anytime. We'll talk later." She ended the call.

London sat up and stretched.

* * *

"Is London going to help with Barba?" Nick asked Amanda.

"Nick. You aren't helping." She fussed.

"Sorry." He held his hands up in defense.

"Something isn't right."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I don't know. I'm not entirely convinced she is back in New York."

* * *

The court schedule changed. Amanda texted London to get a rain check for lunch. 'Court got moved up. I'm so sorry! Can we reschedule?'

London walked out of the bathroom when she heard her phone ding. She read the message. 'Yeah. That's fine. I can bring lunch by there for y'all? Chinese or something?'

'That would be great.' Amanda smiled.

'Let me know what everyone wants.'

* * *

"Excuse me?" A man in a dark suit walked in to the squad room. He glanced down at the paper clipped to the folder in his hand. "I need to speak to Sergeant Olivia Benson."

"And you are?" Fin stared him down.

"Agent Pierce Thomas, FBI." He matched Fin's hostility.

"Ah. Agent Thomas." Olivia had walked out of her office with Barba. "I heard you were coming." She held out her hand. "Olivia Benson."

"Nice to meet you." He shook her hand.

"Likewise. These are my detectives; Nick Amaro, Amanda Rollins, Sonny Carisi, and you've already met Fin." She gave Fin a look. "This is A.D.A. Rafael Barba."

Agent Thomas nodded. He knew who Barba was.

"What can we help you with? Your office wasn't clear." Olivia began.

"The suspect you have in custody for attempted rape."

"It wasn't an attempt." Nick interrupted.

"I'm sorry Detective. I didn't realize there are different interpretations of 'innocent until proven guilty'."

"You think he's innocent?" Nick was being defensive.

His dark eyes narrowed. "I never said that. He's a French national whose government has nothing to do with him. He's been calling the shots for several cartels. Sexual based crimes are not his M.O."

"He just got a new lawyer." Fin added.

"Does he maintain his innocence?" He flipped through the folder.

"Don't they all?" Fin asked.

He nodded before grabbing his phone. "Thomas." He answered.

Olivia could tell by the look on his face that the news wasn't good.

"When did it happen?" He asked. **'This morning.'** His coworker answered. "Damn it." He muttered. **'Do you want me to call Vern?'** "No. I'll call her." He dreaded that phone conversation. He ended the call and immediately dialed a familiar number. It went straight to voicemail. 'You've reached London. Leave a message.' His stomach turned a few more times. "Give me a call when you get this. It's urgent." He hung up and holstered his phone.

"Not great news?" Olivia asked.

"No." He shook his head. "Has the suspect said anything? Why he is in New York? Where he has been? Anything like that?"

Nick flipped through his notes. "He said he was here to see an old friend; wouldn't give a name. Or say if the friend was male or female." He kept reading. "And he did say that there was problem that was going to be solved for him soon."

"That's what I was afraid of. I have a good idea who the 'friend' is. If it's who I am thinking they are most definitely not friends." He shook his head.

"Any clue on the problem that was going to be solved?" Carisi asked.

"Yeah." He nodded; his stomach in knots. "The body of the Atlanta District Attorney was found this morning."

"Oh my gosh!" Amanda covered her mouth. She wondered if London knew.

Barba shuddered.

* * *

London stepped off the elevator and saw Rafael. "Hey." She smiled.

"Welcome back to New York." He smirked.

"Thank you." She set the food down and hugged him. "I missed you." She kissed him.

"I missed you too." He wasn't normally one for public displays of affection, but he wanted to kiss her and he wanted to sell her story of just getting back. He returned the kiss.

"Thank you." She whispered.

* * *

Rafael opened the door for London and she walked in the squad room with the food. She didn't notice FBI Agent Pierce Thomas. Had she known he was in New York she would have cancelled on the food. She wouldn't have wanted to explain his existence. "Hey y'all; sorry it took so long." She set the food on Carisi's desk.

"Hey! Welcome back!" Amanda hugged her.

"What the Hell are you doing here?" Pierce spun around. He had been worried sick about her and then she just shows up? He took a few steps so he was standing in front of her. The others just stared at him.

"Hey Pierce. What is up with you?" She gave him a look. He usually wasn't like that.

"You didn't answer your phone; I was worried."

She could tell he was concerned, but it was annoying. "Pierce. I saw you two days ago."

Rafael was very interested to hear that.

"That's irrelevant. Why didn't you answer your phone?" He demanded.

"I didn't realize that I should always have my phone on me; awaiting your every call." She rolled her eyes. "Really Veronica? Do not start with me."

"Chill out Pierce. I'm not dead." She scoffed.

"Well that's a relief." He crossed his arms. "I never would have heard the end of that one."

"I'm sorry. My phone buzzed and I thought it was Mandy wondering where I was." She shrugged.

"I do have reason to worry." He said seriously.

She nodded. "Where's the fire this time?" She leaned against Fin's desk.

He cleared his throat. "They found Anders this morning." He wondered how she would react.

She opened her mouth to say something, but she nodded her head instead.

"What? You don't seem surprised."

"I got a call about it." Her husband's former partner had called. She felt tears well up in her eyes. She didn't know why she was feeling so emotional. "I can't say I was surprised when I heard. I've been so afraid that would happen." She wiped her eyes on her sweatshirt sleeve. "Sure he was an ass, but he didn't deserve that."

"How does Anders play a part in our rape investigation?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know. He was taking kickbacks from the cartel. They had their hooks in him." She shook her head. "He didn't deserve to go out like that."

"I'm surprised that you have sympathy for him." Amanda spoke up.

"We mended fences; about a year and half ago I guess. I warned him then that he should get out of bed with the cartels." She wondered if he actually listened to her.

Pierce's phone rang but he silenced it. "The other thing you need to know?" He glanced at the text on his phone. "Milosh has been arrested here in New York." He gauged her reaction.

She shuddered. "Where is he?"

"He's been in holding at Rikers, but he's in an interrogation room here. We're waiting on his lawyer." Olivia spoke up.

London nodded. "I want to talk to him."

"Absolutely not!" Pierce was firm.

"Oh come on!"

"No. It's a bad idea and you know it." His phone rang again. "Thomas." He listened for a minute. "Sure thing." He walked out of the squad room.

* * *

"How do you know him?" Amanda asked.

"You don't remember him?" London watched Pierce walk out. "He handled everything with Eddie's case; including the protective custody afterward."

"Are you alright?" Rafael spoke up.

"I think so." She gave him a small smile.

"So what is your interest in this Milosh character?" He asked her.

"Are you the 'friend' he referred to?" Nick asked.

"What?" She was confused.

"He said he was in New York to see a friend. He wouldn't say who. Are you the friend?"

She shot a dark look at him. "I never said we were friends."

Nick held up his hands in defense.

"I worked on a story with him."

"It couldn't hurt to let her talk to him." Carisi piped up.

"How do you figure?" Olivia asked.

"If he knows her and trusts her; maybe he'll open up more."

"I'm not hearing any of this." Rafael threw his hands up.

"Okay. I'll knock on the glass when it's time to come out." Olivia said.

London nodded.

* * *

Jean-Pierre Milosh looked surprised when London walked in the interrogation room. "You aren't my lawyer."

"No I'm not." She gave him a smile.

"At any rate, it is nice to see you."

"You too. What are you doing here? In New York?"

"I came to see a friend. A friend who, sadly, was unavailable."

"Hm. So how did you end up in here?" She gestured to the room they were in. "Knowing you, there has to be a story to it."

The man chuckled before getting serious again. "A woman said I raped her. I didn't touch her. I wouldn't do that. You know I wouldn't."

"I know you wouldn't." She nodded.

"You'll tell them that? That I didn't do it?"

"Of course I will." She patted his handcuffed hands.

"The sooner I can get this cleared up the better."

"Of course." She nodded. "I'll do what I can; you know that." She started to stand.

"Have you heard the news?"

"Hm?" She stopped halfway out of her seat. "What news?"

"That the city of Atlanta needs a new District Attorney? It's a shame really. It's so hard to find good help these days."

"Yes it is." She nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

* * *

"What the Hell did you think you were doing?" Pierce fussed when she walked out of the interrogation room.

"Talking." She was trembling on the inside.

"After I explicitly told you not to?"

She shrugged.

"Tell me you at least found something useful." He rolled his eyes. He knew she wasn't going to listen to him.

"He didn't do it." She said simply.

"He isn't innocent!" Nick yelled.

"I didn't say he was innocent Detective!" London snapped at him. She was surprised that she sounded more calm than she felt. "I said that he didn't do this. If he says he didn't rape someone; he didn't do it. But. He is by no means 'innocent'. He has a rap sheet longer than my arm. Not only did the man sitting in that room orchestrate the murder of the Atlanta D.A…" Her voice trailed off. The lump in her throat wouldn't let her say it.

"What?" Nick asked.

"Never mind." She shook her head.

"No, I want to know." He persisted.

"Nick." Amanda started. She saw her best friend's eyes mist.

"I really want to know."

Pierce put his hand on London's shoulder. "You should go."

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Make the call or I will."

"I thought I could do it." She took a deep breath. "Thought I could face him again." She ignored his statement.

"Damn it." Amanda muttered; the pieces were starting to come together.

"I would kill him if I knew it would help me feel better." London said sadly. She knew nothing could bring Eddie back.

"And no one would blame you." Pierce gave her a sad smile. "Make the call or I will."

London nodded and walked out with a hand over her mouth.

Rafael wanted to follow her.

When he was sure that London was gone; Pierce turned to Barba. "You cannot take this to trial."

"He would have been arraigned this afternoon if his lawyer had been there." Rafael said.

"Good. Then this can still be dropped." Pierce glanced at his phone.

"There is no dropping this." Olivia said.

"I'd rather get him on what I know he did, not just…" He began.

"Not just on the word of a rape victim?" Olivia finished.

"That's not what I was going to say Sergeant." He shook his head. "This guy is slick. Your case has to be air tight." He turned to Barba. "If you take this to trial and the case falls apart, which it will, she will never forgive you. I don't care how much you think she loves you." He pulled his folder off the desk.

Barba bristled.

"It's him isn't it?" Amanda spoke with tears in her eyes. "She found him?"

"Yes." Pierce nodded. "In her defense she didn't know it was him when she wrote the article. She didn't speak to me for six months after I told her."

"I should have seen this coming." Amanda shook her head.

"There's no way you could have; he's a ghost."

"Who is he?" Carisi asked; his curiosity getting the best of him.

Pierce looked up at him. "He is the man who murdered Eddie Winters."

"But the Atlanta PD caught the guy who shot him. Right?" Carisi didn't understand.

"Yes, the guy who shot him. We are talking about two different people. It wasn't a random crime. He was targeted."

"Why?" Nick asked avoiding Amanda's glare.

"I don't know. Only Eddie could have answered that."

"So why the Atlanta D.A.?" Olivia asked.

"Truthfully?" He glanced behind him to make sure London hadn't come back in. "He's cleaning shop."

"But he's been in custody…" Olivia began.

"His plan has been in place for years Sergeant. He doesn't do anything random. He had a purpose in being arrested."

"Does he know who London is?" Amanda was almost scared to ask.

"I don't know."

* * *

 _Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. Let me know what you thought and if you have any suggestions! :)_


	8. Chapter 8 Endless Tragedy

_This chapter has been written for a while. Life has been crazy and I haven't had a chance to post it..._

* * *

"Rachel? What's wrong?" She asked. London's sister in law had been crying.

"What's wrong?" She scoffed. "What on earth happened with London?"

Amanda glanced at Nick. She didn't know what Rachel knew or how much she should tell her.

* * *

"Sergeant, I'm sorry." Agent Pierce Thomas told her. He was standing in Olivia's office with her and Barba.

Barba had talked to the D.A. who had agreed to drop the charges and let the F.B.I. take over the case.

"Can you tell me what he'll be charged with?" Olivia asked.

Pierce gave her a sad smile and she knew her answer. "I'm sorry I can't."

"Can't or won't?" She huffed.

"Liv." Barba began.

"I can't." Pierce turned and walked out.

Olivia rolled her eyes and followed him out.

* * *

Rachel turned and looked to where she heard the door open. "Pierce! You tell me what's going on right this minute!" She demanded.

"Hello Darling." He kissed his wife's cheek. "I was discussing a case with…" He began.

"That's not what I meant." She fumed.

He smiled, knowing that wasn't what she wanted to know.

"Oh my gosh." Amanda realized why Pierce looked so familiar. He was Rachel's husband; London's brother in law.

"Remember now?" He chuckled.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I didn't know you were a Fed."

He laughed. "I thought you did. Sorry Amanda."

"What is going on with London?" Rachel repeated.

"I'll tell you later." He touched her arm.

"No. I know what that means. Tell me now. She called me crying; said she was making the call."

Rafael felt his chest tighten.

"I don't understand." Her eyes misted.

"Y'all can talk in the interview room." Amanda sensed his hesitation.

Pierce nodded.

"Follow me." She glanced at Olivia, who nodded her approval.

They walked in the interview room and Amanda started to close the door behind them.

"Stay Amanda." Pierce said. "You're family too."

She nodded, closing the door behind her.

"Rachel, sit. Please." He gestured to the nearest chair.

She sat and Amanda sat across from her.

"She…" He began, but stopped. He didn't know how to bring it up. "I think she misunderstood what I meant. I told her to call or I would. I figured it would go over better coming from her rather than me. She was upset when she left."

"She was upset when she called."

He knelt on one knee and placed his hands on his wife's knees. There was no good way to tell her. "We found him; the man responsible for Eddie's death."

Rachel's hands flew to her mouth to stifle a cry. "How on Earth?" She asked between sobs.

"The details aren't important." He didn't want to tell her yet.

"Like Hell they aren't important Pierce!" She fussed.

He let out a breath. "This isn't easy for me either."

"I know. I just don't know why you didn't tell me." She wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry. She did an article on him; she didn't know who he was when she wrote it. Do you remember when she went off the grid?"

Rachel nodded.

"That's when she found out."

"Makes sense now."

He nodded. "I never told you because he is so slick. I wanted to make sure we had him. I didn't want to get your hopes up; London's either." He patted her knees and stood up. "I was going to let her tell you; I figured she could give you more details."

"Did you not figure she might freak out?"

He chuckled. "Obviously not."

Rafael could see them talking in the interview room. He wished he was in there. He didn't know where London was. He couldn't lose her again. He had to find her.

* * *

Rafael walked in his apartment, shutting the door with a satisfying slam. He hadn't been able to reach London and he had looked everywhere he could think of. He started to pour himself a drink. He noticed a light on in his bedroom. He didn't remember leaving it on when he left. He wondered if London had forgotten it. He walked in the room and stopped in his tracks. London was sitting on his bed, knees drawn to her chest. "Where have you been? Here?" Her eyes and face were red and puffy. He knew she had been crying for a while.

She wiped her eyes. "I, um. I came here after I left the precinct. I panicked. I didn't know where else to go. I figured no one would look for me here."

"I certainly didn't." He sat down beside her, drawing her into his arms. "I looked everywhere I could think of. I worried because you didn't answer."

"My phone is on silent. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Sorry." She leaned against him.

"Don't be. I love you Darling." He kissed her head.

She turned her head towards him. "I love you too." She kissed him.

"Sorry I slammed the door."

"That's fine."

"I was worried about you."

"I'm sorry I worried you." She held his face in her hands.

"I know." He kissed her forehead. "Are you going to be alright?"

"I think so. Did Pierce tell you who he was?"

"Your brother in law?"

"Yeah." She chuckled.

"Your sister in law came by. I have to admit I was afraid you were leaving for good."

"I was freaking out. She misunderstood. I'm just glad it's over. You aren't going to try him are you?" She pulled away; fear clouding her face.

"No I'm not. He's in federal custody."

"Oh thank God." She started sobbing into her hands. "I couldn't bear for something to happen to you too."

"London." He touched her face. "I'm okay."

"I know. I just don't want you involved." She leaned against him.

"I'm not. Pierce made sure I wouldn't be." He kissed her head.

* * *

"Let's go." The F.B.I. agent told Jean-Pierre Milosh.

Pierce and Olivia were watching from her office.

"Where am I going?" Milosh asked.

"You are now in federal custody and are being transferred elsewhere."

"I want to talk to London!" He demanded. "She said she would fix this."

"Who?" The agent played dumb.

"London Winters." Milosh stared at the glass.

Pierce's heart stopped.

Olivia glanced at him when he sucked in a breath.

"Damn it." He muttered. "He knows who she is."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked.

"She told me she didn't use Winters."

Olivia's heart sank.

"I know you're out there!" Milosh yelled.

"Are you going to tell her?" Olivia was certain she knew the answer.

"Not a chance." He walked to the door and opened it. "Yes?"

"I want to speak to London." Milosh said simply.

"That isn't going to happen." Pierce said firmly.

"Sure it is. You are going to call your sister in law and she is going to talk to me."

Pierce wanted to throttle the man. "That will not happen."

"Yes it will. Especially if S.V.U. wants to know who raped that poor girl."

"You know who raped her? She said you did." Olivia appeared in the doorway.

"It wasn't me; it was someone trying to frame me. Your assailant is still out there."

"Agent Thomas." Olivia began.

"This man is now in Federal custody Sergeant Benson. He is no longer your concern."

"I understand, but…"

"I'm glad you understand." He stopped her. "Get him out of my sight." He told his colleague. The other agent nodded and jerked Milosh out of the room.

"Agent Thomas." Olivia began after Milosh was gone.

"Eddie and I had an agreement. We were both in dangerous lines of work. He was to look out for Rachel and Celia if something happened to me. And I was to look out for London if anything happened to him." He shook his head.

"I can't imagine." She shook her head.

"I didn't realize he knew who she was. Or who she was to me."

"I am sorry."

He nodded.

"Do you think he would tell her why he killed her husband?"

"I can't risk it. She disappeared for six months when I told her who he was. She completely went off the grid. I couldn't find her."

"Shouldn't she decide that for herself?"

* * *

Rafael brushed London's hair out of her face. She had fallen asleep in his arms. "I love you so much." He whispered.

Her eyes fluttered open.

"Sorry to wake you."

"I love you." She beamed.

"Feeling better?" He stroked her face.

She nodded and reached for her phone on the bedside table.

"How many missed calls?" He smirked when she rolled her eyes.

"Two from Nick, a text from Mandy." She read the text. 'I am so sorry! Call me when you are ready.' "And three calls from Pierce." She knew something was wrong. He didn't leave a voicemail. She called him back.

"London."

"Hey Pierce. What is it?" She thought he sounded tired and maybe defeated.

"Where are you? Are you alone?"

"I'm with Rafael." She smiled.

"Good." He was relieved that someone was with her. "Milosh has been transferred."

"I don't care about that." She interrupted.

"I know you don't. But. Before he was transferred he demanded to speak to you."

"So? Why are you telling me this?"

Rafael wondered what was going on.

"Is it just the two of you there? He needs to hear this too."

"Yeah it's just us." She put her phone on speaker.

"Milosh called you London Winters. And he knows that you are my sister in law."

Fear gripped her. "How does he know that?" Her voice was shaking.

"I don't know. I ignored it. He says if you talk to him, he will tell the S.V.U. who actually raped the woman who is accusing him. He claims it was a set up or something. I told him no."

"So why are you calling me Pierce?"

"I talked with Sergeant Benson. I told her about the agreement that Eddie and I had. She asked me a valid question."

"Which was?" London scooted closer to Rafael. He made her feel safe.

"Shouldn't I let you decide for yourself. And as much as I hate to admit it, she is right London."

Rafael snickered. "That sounds like Liv."

"She wondered if he would tell you 'why Eddie'."

London broke down sobbing.

Rafael took the phone from her and she sobbed into her hands.

Pierce hated it. "I'm sorry London."

"Don't be Pierce." She wiped her eyes. "Does he think he's being arrested for the rape?"

"I don't know. He did mention that you said you would fix this. I don't know what he meant."

"He asked me to tell them he didn't do it. And I did."

"For all of my efforts to keep you safe…" Pierce shook his head.

"This is not on you." She said firmly. "I think if I want to know what really happened… I am going to have to talk to him."

"I would tell you no, but if you want to, I will respect your decision." Pierce said.

"I don't think you should talk to him!" Rafael blurted.

Pierce was surprised the ADA said that.

"You are right. Both of you. I probably shouldn't talk to him, but this could be my one chance to find out what happened to Eddie. Believe it or not I have leverage on him; from when I wrote the article. I have information that he doesn't know I have."

Pierce chuckled. "Alright. I will arrange it. How soon can you be here?"

"Thirty minutes?" She glanced at Rafael who nodded.

"He'll be back in the interrogation room." Pierce ended the call.

London dropped the phone on the bed and got up. "Rafi? What am I doing?" She started pacing the room.

"Getting answers." He stood up and blocked her path. "You are determined and stubborn. And God knows I love you."

"I love you." She pulled his face to hers and kissed him hard.

* * *

Thirty minutes later London and Rafael walked in to the precinct. She had made a stop at her storage building and dug out envelopes of notes from her interviews with Milosh.

"Are you going to talk to Rollins?" Rafael asked on the elevator.

"Maybe. I'm definitely not talking to Nick." She was still mad at him. "He doesn't deserve her." She muttered.

"He doesn't deserve who?" He asked.

Her cheeks flushed and she realized what she had said. "Nobody." She didn't look at him.

"Got it."

She glanced up at him and he winked at her.

* * *

"So she is going to talk to him?" Amanda asked.

"Yep." Pierce paced the squad room and glanced at the clock. It had been thirty minutes. Did she get cold feet?

"She gonna show?" Carisi asked.

"I don't see why we are letting him have his way." Nick said.

"I think you've said enough." Fin gave him a look.

"London!" Amanda saw her walk in with Barba.

London handed the envelopes to Rafael and hugged her best friend. "I'm so sorry. We'll talk after?"

"You shouldn't be sorry. I should be apologizing to you."

"No worries." London squeezed her hands.

"We'll talk after." Amanda said.

London nodded and looked at Pierce. "Let's get this over with."

Rafael handed her the envelopes.

"Let's." Pierce nodded.

"Oh I'm doing this by myself. End of discussion." She brushed past him. "Y'all can watch the show."

Pierce looked at Barba who shrugged.

* * *

London took a deep breath before walking in the interrogation room. "What do you want." She demanded, slapping the envelopes on the table.

"Where have you been?" Milosh asked her.

"I will be asking the questions. Sergeant Benson said you knew who the rapist was and that you would tell only me."

"Yes."

"Write it down." She slid him a pad of paper and a pen.

He wrote the name down and slid it back to her.

"Agent Thomas said you called me London Winters. I don't use that name, but obviously you knew that."

"Of course I did. I know who you are."

"Why?"

"Why what?" He knew what she wanted to know, but he wanted to hear her say it.

"Why did you murder my husband?" She stared him down.

"I didn't kill him." He crossed his arms.

"You're right. You didn't pull the trigger. Just like you weren't the one to put a bullet in the head of the Atlanta District Attorney."

"I wouldn't think you of all people would care." He said coldly. "You know, after he let your husband's killer walk free."

"You of all people should know what happens to snitches Jean-Pierre." She opened one of the envelopes, emptying the contents on the table. She slid pictures in front of him. "You aren't the only one who has sources everywhere. Ghost writing has many, many privileges."

He didn't have to look at the pictures to know the cartel had gotten their hands on the man.

"Start talking." She turned over more pictures. "I didn't know who you really were when I interviewed you and wrote the article. I did my homework though. I know who you care about. I know where they live and I know how to find them."

It was Milosh's turn to fear.

She continued. "I have pictures. I have names, addresses, phone numbers, business dealings, shell corporations…"

"Fine!" Milosh shouted. "I will tell you. Just stop. My family, they don't know about all of this."

"Tell me what I want to know." She was trembling inside, but never let it show.

"Your husband, Eddie, he was a rising star. Cartels wanted him. Mine already had Anders in their pocket. Eddie said no. Repeatedly. He was told to turn on his partner. I gave the order that if he didn't do it to take him out. It looked like a bust gone bad."

"Wow." Olivia muttered.

Pierce nodded.

"It was business my dear." Milosh had the slightest of smiles on his face.

"Hmm." London chuckled as she slid everything back in the envelopes.

"What is so funny?"

"So is this." London opened the final envelope and slid out a knife.

Pierce swore under his breath.

Milosh took a deep breath. "Where did you get that?"

"Good luck explaining that." She picked up the other envelopes and walked out, leaving the knife on the table.

* * *

"London." Pierce was speechless. "Is that?"

"The one in my mailbox? Yeah." She handed him the envelopes.

Pierce hugged her. "I am proud of you." He whispered. "I know Eddie would be proud of you too."

She nodded, blinking back tears.

F.B.I agents escorted Milosh out for the last time. Pierce went in the room and collected the knife.

"You've got interrogation skills." Carisi smiled at her. "Remind me to never be on your bad side."

"Thanks."

"Let's get you out of here." Rafael said, glancing at Rollins.

"Olivia, here is the name." She handed her the paper.

"Thank you London." Olivia placed her hand on London's shoulder.

"Of course." London nodded.

"Do you need warrants?" Rafael asked.

"Yes." She hated to ask.

"I'll see you later. Okay?" He kissed London's head.

"Okay." She let Amanda guide her out.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it._


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